No one is good not even one
The front pages of papers of children raped by rapist
Iraqi torture chambers and we the blame claim we're blameless
Wrong all
And swelling up inside of us there's this pride in us this arrogance
And our only line of defense is the sense that
I'm not as half as bad as this friend of mine so I must be fine
We mean well don't we
Yet I've never seen good intentions set a man free from
Hurt all
This poor unfortunate soul
Filling a single void with toy after toy with girl after boy
How boring this wasn't this meant to be Humanity's life story
Warring with God saying what have you done for me
Bought all
Hanging out for six hours marred beyond recognition
In complete submission to His Father's will still
A proclamation was made louder than the loudest temptation
With more beauty than all his creation
More eternal than eternity more angelic than the heavenlies
It is done for you and bought with blood
Accept
Rejoice
For freedom has come
~Jimmy Needham
Accept. Rejoice. Receive. All good things (ALL good things) are gifts from the throne of a loving Father. He delights to pour out on His children. He delights in freedom, in rejoicing, in glory, in love. He is a good Father! Seek His heart. Delight in His presence. Praise Him for His grace. Thank You Lord.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
random thought....
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Therefore, He is still triumphing over the grave and the kingdom of hell.
He is still walking on the waves... He is still inviting us to come with Him.
Do you want to walk on water? I'm not gonna lie: I do.
I think it would be sweet awesome fun.
You don't get to do it by staying in the boat.
So, I'm going after the heart of the Lord.
I don't want to be a lone Peter... who's coming with me?
Let's go. Walking on the waves.
and for the record, i'm not really being metaphorical. We can literally walk on water in the name of Jesus, i repeat, He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Our faith has just shrunk. Who's wants it back?
Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.
Therefore, He is still triumphing over the grave and the kingdom of hell.
He is still walking on the waves... He is still inviting us to come with Him.
Do you want to walk on water? I'm not gonna lie: I do.
I think it would be sweet awesome fun.
You don't get to do it by staying in the boat.
So, I'm going after the heart of the Lord.
I don't want to be a lone Peter... who's coming with me?
Let's go. Walking on the waves.
and for the record, i'm not really being metaphorical. We can literally walk on water in the name of Jesus, i repeat, He's the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Our faith has just shrunk. Who's wants it back?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
the Kingdom is at hand...
On Friday a thief
On Sunday a king
Laid down in grief
But awoke with the keys
To hell on that day
Firstborn of the slain
The man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave
He has cheated
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all
-John Mark McMillan
I'm just saying: Christ overcame the world (john 16:33) and when He came back from death on the cross and the battle in hell (where He beat the crap out of satan.. don't miss His awesomeness), the first thing he said was "Peace be with you." If anyone has the power to bestow some peace it's freaking Jesus, and if Jesus proclaimed peace after the cross and the battle, He wasn't kidding!! Peace in Christ is no joke, it's not a teaser, and it's not a promise reserved for heaven. I'm telling you: Christ wouldn't walk around saying "peace be with you" if we couldn't have peace on earth. Hence, since Christ triumphed over death and proclaimed peace into our lives, we can have it and have it right now! Heck to the yeah... if you need some peace, seek the Lord and go after it in prayer, and the Father, our Daddy, who inclines His ear to listen to our cries, will delight to to give you His good gifts of wholeness, peace, and rest. Jesus didn't die on the cross so that we could one day not have to go to hell, he freaking took all of our deep brokenness and pain and carried it on His shoulders to the mount of cruxcifiction so that He could defeat all of it and we would not have to walk in our sorrows and infirmities. Is the world perfect? Look around- We still live in a place feeling the affects of the curse, but heaven rejoices to invade earth and why would we not ask for that more and more? Yeah! Should we not live in an expectation of the Kingdom of God reigning on earth as it does in heaven? Should we not pray for greater glory so that we would walk as Christ did when He was made human and lived among us? Don't miss it! He was human!!! He felt as we felt, breathed as we breathed, was tempted as we are, and felt the weakness of human flesh, but He was transformed by the presence of God because He was united with the Father and therefore He walked around bringing the goodness of heaven to earth. Can we not walk the same way? I claim that Christ said we can do the same things as Him and even greater things. Look it up, it's in the Bible and if you grew up in church and have never heard that verse, it's probably just because its scares the crap out of people, and I don't know why... the promise of the Lord to reveal His power in His servants is a good thing!! Ah!!! I can't get over it. It's so good. Lord, don't let me preach anything other than the glory of your cross.
Oh, this is it....hear what i'm saying: don't seek the Lord for the crazy things that He does.. I'm not talking about walking around searching for signs and wonders. The Bible says a wicked and depraved generation will seek for signs and wonders, and i'm thinking it's probably because signs and wonders and small, simple, lesser things when compared with the incredible glory and intimacy of the Lord's presence. I'm just saying seek the LORD! Ground yourself in His presence and in His word and crazy things will happen! Forget physical healing... i mean it's good and from the Lord and stuff, but i'm saying just go after healing of the soul! New Joy, new peace, That's the desire of the Father. Go after it! Walk it out! I'm just telling you cause I've seen it, i've had it, i've tasted God's healing and it is so good. Mhhhmm! You've got to get this! I don't care who you are, how long you've known the Lord or if you've never known Him at all. You've got to get this! More, more more... We've got to have more. I can't say it enough. God is so good. Wholly good, complete LOVE, perfect compassion, ridiculous glory. And if you don't know that, if that description of the Lord doesn't resound with you, then you need to either meet Him again or for the first time. Let me know if you need some prayer, i want to go after some peace for you. You've got to get this! Ask me what the deal is if you're confused and don't know what i'm talking about, i'll tell you in person. I have to preach of the goodness of my King. I have to see more people know this, just so that more voices can cry out praise. He is so good.
On Sunday a king
Laid down in grief
But awoke with the keys
To hell on that day
Firstborn of the slain
The man Jesus Christ
Laid death in his grave
He has cheated
Hell and seated
Us above the fall
In desperate places
He paid our wages
One time once and for all
-John Mark McMillan
I'm just saying: Christ overcame the world (john 16:33) and when He came back from death on the cross and the battle in hell (where He beat the crap out of satan.. don't miss His awesomeness), the first thing he said was "Peace be with you." If anyone has the power to bestow some peace it's freaking Jesus, and if Jesus proclaimed peace after the cross and the battle, He wasn't kidding!! Peace in Christ is no joke, it's not a teaser, and it's not a promise reserved for heaven. I'm telling you: Christ wouldn't walk around saying "peace be with you" if we couldn't have peace on earth. Hence, since Christ triumphed over death and proclaimed peace into our lives, we can have it and have it right now! Heck to the yeah... if you need some peace, seek the Lord and go after it in prayer, and the Father, our Daddy, who inclines His ear to listen to our cries, will delight to to give you His good gifts of wholeness, peace, and rest. Jesus didn't die on the cross so that we could one day not have to go to hell, he freaking took all of our deep brokenness and pain and carried it on His shoulders to the mount of cruxcifiction so that He could defeat all of it and we would not have to walk in our sorrows and infirmities. Is the world perfect? Look around- We still live in a place feeling the affects of the curse, but heaven rejoices to invade earth and why would we not ask for that more and more? Yeah! Should we not live in an expectation of the Kingdom of God reigning on earth as it does in heaven? Should we not pray for greater glory so that we would walk as Christ did when He was made human and lived among us? Don't miss it! He was human!!! He felt as we felt, breathed as we breathed, was tempted as we are, and felt the weakness of human flesh, but He was transformed by the presence of God because He was united with the Father and therefore He walked around bringing the goodness of heaven to earth. Can we not walk the same way? I claim that Christ said we can do the same things as Him and even greater things. Look it up, it's in the Bible and if you grew up in church and have never heard that verse, it's probably just because its scares the crap out of people, and I don't know why... the promise of the Lord to reveal His power in His servants is a good thing!! Ah!!! I can't get over it. It's so good. Lord, don't let me preach anything other than the glory of your cross.
Oh, this is it....hear what i'm saying: don't seek the Lord for the crazy things that He does.. I'm not talking about walking around searching for signs and wonders. The Bible says a wicked and depraved generation will seek for signs and wonders, and i'm thinking it's probably because signs and wonders and small, simple, lesser things when compared with the incredible glory and intimacy of the Lord's presence. I'm just saying seek the LORD! Ground yourself in His presence and in His word and crazy things will happen! Forget physical healing... i mean it's good and from the Lord and stuff, but i'm saying just go after healing of the soul! New Joy, new peace, That's the desire of the Father. Go after it! Walk it out! I'm just telling you cause I've seen it, i've had it, i've tasted God's healing and it is so good. Mhhhmm! You've got to get this! I don't care who you are, how long you've known the Lord or if you've never known Him at all. You've got to get this! More, more more... We've got to have more. I can't say it enough. God is so good. Wholly good, complete LOVE, perfect compassion, ridiculous glory. And if you don't know that, if that description of the Lord doesn't resound with you, then you need to either meet Him again or for the first time. Let me know if you need some prayer, i want to go after some peace for you. You've got to get this! Ask me what the deal is if you're confused and don't know what i'm talking about, i'll tell you in person. I have to preach of the goodness of my King. I have to see more people know this, just so that more voices can cry out praise. He is so good.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
mas que conquistador
I am a junior nursing major at Clemson, and I have 53 people in my class with me (all the other 1st semester junior nurses). The Lord has been continually showing me recently how much He loves my class and how much He is working in their hearts. So I had been praying for all my classmates for awhile, and eventually the Lord really laid it on my heart to speak to my classmates and tell them about His love. Specifically on a Wednesday night (at transition… yeah good stuff) the Lord told me to speak to my class the next morning. So my 8:15am class I went up to the front of the room and asked my professor if I could make an announcement. She said that it was fine with her so I faced my class and waited for them to be quiet. When everyone was facing me and listening I told them all that the Lord had told me to tell them that He loves them all so much, and that He is coming for them; that they are his daughters and his son (I only have one guy in my class) and that He wants to claim their hearts! I told them that they shouldn’t let anything come between them and the Lord; I told them to enjoy His love and be blessed by it. Then I sat down. Multiple conversations have occurred after this. The Lord is continuing to impress Himself upon their souls, and it is super fun to see how much He is chasing them down!
Later that same day, I was leaving FCA and had gotten in my car to drive back to my apt, and as I was driving by downtown, my heart was breaking for all the students crowded into bars just trying to find some satisfaction in life. I was so broken for how much they need the Lord, and I kept thinking about how good it would be if someone would go to them and speak the Gospel. So then the Lord told me to do that…. No lie; I was like, “say what now? Lord, girls like me don’t just walk into bars and start talking about You.” But the Lord just really laid it on my heart that I was a conqueror through Him and that He wanted these people to hear about his love. So after Jesus talked me through this, I ended up parking my car and walking up to the first bar I saw on the corner of downtown (Griffins? I think that’s the name) and there was a guy singing and playing guitar at the front of the bar, so I waited for him to finish his song and then completely by God’s grace, I walked up to him and asked if I could borrow his microphone. He asked me why and I told him that God had told me to make an announcement. He was a Christian and after asking if I would be brief, he just handed me the mike. I faced the bar and told everyone that the Lord told me to come and tell them how much He loves them. I told them that it didn’t matter how they felt about the Lord, even if they hated Him, that He was so in love with them and that He was coming to claim their hearts. Then I gave the mike back to the singer and walked out.
The Lord is good. He is a God of love, and He wants people to know it, so get ready. He’s gonna be using his children to spread the news. New boldness is coming down from heaven, and some "ordinary" Christians are about to get jacked up.
"Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.....
Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore, let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of the light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing or drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife or jealously, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."
Romans 13:8 & 11-14
Later that same day, I was leaving FCA and had gotten in my car to drive back to my apt, and as I was driving by downtown, my heart was breaking for all the students crowded into bars just trying to find some satisfaction in life. I was so broken for how much they need the Lord, and I kept thinking about how good it would be if someone would go to them and speak the Gospel. So then the Lord told me to do that…. No lie; I was like, “say what now? Lord, girls like me don’t just walk into bars and start talking about You.” But the Lord just really laid it on my heart that I was a conqueror through Him and that He wanted these people to hear about his love. So after Jesus talked me through this, I ended up parking my car and walking up to the first bar I saw on the corner of downtown (Griffins? I think that’s the name) and there was a guy singing and playing guitar at the front of the bar, so I waited for him to finish his song and then completely by God’s grace, I walked up to him and asked if I could borrow his microphone. He asked me why and I told him that God had told me to make an announcement. He was a Christian and after asking if I would be brief, he just handed me the mike. I faced the bar and told everyone that the Lord told me to come and tell them how much He loves them. I told them that it didn’t matter how they felt about the Lord, even if they hated Him, that He was so in love with them and that He was coming to claim their hearts. Then I gave the mike back to the singer and walked out.
The Lord is good. He is a God of love, and He wants people to know it, so get ready. He’s gonna be using his children to spread the news. New boldness is coming down from heaven, and some "ordinary" Christians are about to get jacked up.
"Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law.....
Do this, knowing the time, that it is already the hour for you to awaken from sleep; for now salvation is nearer to us than when we believed. The night is almost gone, and the day is near. Therefore, let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of the light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing or drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife or jealously, but put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts."
Romans 13:8 & 11-14
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
I've got to have it.
mmhhmmm....
Freaking JESUS
love it.
It's just the craziest best stuff ever.
None so High and Holy. King of Kings One and only.
i literally can't describe the way that i am seeing the Lord move, other than fire. Flames from the Lord consuming all. It's so good.... I don't even know what to say. Fullness of Joy... better than any pleasure on earth. Better.
Don't look for anything else. Don't search, don't test, don't try anything else. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Just taste it. It's that good. No convincing, no debates, no persuasion. Just taste it. It satisfies. Nothing else brings this satisfaction. Oh it's so good.
The harvest has come. Look up! Do you see it? Do you want it? Are you hungry, aching, broken, crying out for the Kingdom to come? Ask for it. Let's be hungry for it. Let's be HUNGRY for it. Ah, we're asking for it. It's coming.
Freaking JESUS
love it.
It's just the craziest best stuff ever.
None so High and Holy. King of Kings One and only.
i literally can't describe the way that i am seeing the Lord move, other than fire. Flames from the Lord consuming all. It's so good.... I don't even know what to say. Fullness of Joy... better than any pleasure on earth. Better.
Don't look for anything else. Don't search, don't test, don't try anything else. Taste and see that the Lord is good. Just taste it. It's that good. No convincing, no debates, no persuasion. Just taste it. It satisfies. Nothing else brings this satisfaction. Oh it's so good.
The harvest has come. Look up! Do you see it? Do you want it? Are you hungry, aching, broken, crying out for the Kingdom to come? Ask for it. Let's be hungry for it. Let's be HUNGRY for it. Ah, we're asking for it. It's coming.
Saturday, October 11, 2008
"the cross of Christ is such a burden as wings are to a bird or sails to a ship"
oh the love of Christ... it blows my mind everyday. I don't know what to do with it. But i know that i can't do anything without it, and that is cause for celebration. Oh how good it is to be dependent on God. How good it is to rely on Him for every need, every desire, every breath. There is nothing else like this, nothing so beautiful, nothing so holy.
For some very strange reason, we have been told in the past that dependence is somehow a burden. That it's hard, but we Christians just have to make that sacrifice. How many times have we heard that having a "quiet time" (gosh, i hate even that phrase. What if God wants to be loud? No lie: sometimes Jesus and I scream together.) is just a daily sacrifice that we need to find time for? But that's not the way it has to be, in fact, i am willing to claim that it is not even the way that God intended it. Ha. Boo on that satan, you will not convince me that spending time with the Lord is a chore.
Let's talk about what God intended, the Bible speaks of this wonderfully insane relationship of a bride and a bridegroom. This beautiful metaphor names Christ as a husband and the church as His wife, and just to clarify, by Church He means His body of believers, not a building or a steeple cuz we get that one confused sometimes too. For clarification see Ephesians 6, the book of Hosea, and Ezekiel 16(the latter two are written more specifically about Israel, but the comparison still holds true so don't let that stop you).
So God created and redeemed us in the beautiful image and desire of alluring us intimately. Mmmmhmm. That's good stuff. The Lord of all, dying on a cross, crying out, "I want to be your lover. Your husband. Your beloved." How utterly mind-blowing. The more i see it, the longer i stand around speechless. Oh the call of Christ is wild. Wild, and terrifying, and risky, and beautiful, and bold. And the scariest part is that we have made Him out to be mundane. In this slightly ridiculous power that we have to impact the world for good or for bad, we have spoken into generations of dying people that Christ is commonplace. We have preached that we go to church every week out of duty and that we open our Bibles twenty minutes a day because that's what God wants us to do, or even worst yet, because it makes us better people. Let's no longer live this lie. Forget what anyone has ever told you about what your time with the Lord is supposed to look or feel like. Jesus just wants to be with you. Dance with Him, Lay in His arms, Sing, Cry, Laugh out loud, Go running with Him, throw your arms in the air and scream about His love, paint, write, rap, take pictures of His creation, Go eat with Jesus, Go driving and roll your windows down and know that the Lord is good enough to create simple pleasures like the wind on your face. Let's all give up the idea that we have to sacrifice a certain amount of time everyday for God and that its a burden but He wants us to do it. Freaking no. Humanity is the burden. Christ is the liberation. We should be enjoying the freedom.
"I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hands
Lay back against you and breathe
And feel your heartbeat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I drown in your peace
It's overwhelming."
For some very strange reason, we have been told in the past that dependence is somehow a burden. That it's hard, but we Christians just have to make that sacrifice. How many times have we heard that having a "quiet time" (gosh, i hate even that phrase. What if God wants to be loud? No lie: sometimes Jesus and I scream together.) is just a daily sacrifice that we need to find time for? But that's not the way it has to be, in fact, i am willing to claim that it is not even the way that God intended it. Ha. Boo on that satan, you will not convince me that spending time with the Lord is a chore.
Let's talk about what God intended, the Bible speaks of this wonderfully insane relationship of a bride and a bridegroom. This beautiful metaphor names Christ as a husband and the church as His wife, and just to clarify, by Church He means His body of believers, not a building or a steeple cuz we get that one confused sometimes too. For clarification see Ephesians 6, the book of Hosea, and Ezekiel 16(the latter two are written more specifically about Israel, but the comparison still holds true so don't let that stop you).
So God created and redeemed us in the beautiful image and desire of alluring us intimately. Mmmmhmm. That's good stuff. The Lord of all, dying on a cross, crying out, "I want to be your lover. Your husband. Your beloved." How utterly mind-blowing. The more i see it, the longer i stand around speechless. Oh the call of Christ is wild. Wild, and terrifying, and risky, and beautiful, and bold. And the scariest part is that we have made Him out to be mundane. In this slightly ridiculous power that we have to impact the world for good or for bad, we have spoken into generations of dying people that Christ is commonplace. We have preached that we go to church every week out of duty and that we open our Bibles twenty minutes a day because that's what God wants us to do, or even worst yet, because it makes us better people. Let's no longer live this lie. Forget what anyone has ever told you about what your time with the Lord is supposed to look or feel like. Jesus just wants to be with you. Dance with Him, Lay in His arms, Sing, Cry, Laugh out loud, Go running with Him, throw your arms in the air and scream about His love, paint, write, rap, take pictures of His creation, Go eat with Jesus, Go driving and roll your windows down and know that the Lord is good enough to create simple pleasures like the wind on your face. Let's all give up the idea that we have to sacrifice a certain amount of time everyday for God and that its a burden but He wants us to do it. Freaking no. Humanity is the burden. Christ is the liberation. We should be enjoying the freedom.
"I want to sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hands
Lay back against you and breathe
And feel your heartbeat
This love is so deep
It's more than I can stand
I drown in your peace
It's overwhelming."
Saturday, September 6, 2008
the stirring....
The irresistible revolution..... it's coming, it's even among us now. Christ is stirring up a new way of living against the backdrop of our own selfishness and consumerism. Oh, let it come. Let it change us all. Let's surrender to a different life, a different way a of thinking, a new way of celebrating, a different way of understanding community, a different way of following Christ. What if Christians walked as Christ walked when He was made love incarnate? What would happen? Who would change? Would we change the world or would we see ourselves changed from looking like it?
I'm so tired of Christians with narrow visions, small dreams, and inclusive communities. Really? Really though? How does that even happen? I'm so tired of seeing Christ's body pulled so far apart that it no longer remembers how to work together. What have we done when the church in the suburbs has all the resources and doesn't see the church twenty minutes downtown that is meeting in a condemned house and has all the needs? Shane Claiborne says that "The greatest tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that rich Christians do not know the poor." I know lots of Christians who know the names of lots of charities that donate money to the poor, but they don't know any of the poor themselves, and I include myself because i willingly admit that I too have wandered far from the path that Christ walked. Christ went to the margins of society. He walked under the bridges, through the tent cities, and in the alleys behind the wealthy office buildings. He knew the dumpsters that people searched through to find food. He went to the red-light district of the city and found the woman selling themselves for a glimpse of "love". Christ dwelled in the places where we not only often refuse to walk, we condemn the people who do. We live as if we have the right to have anything we want and as if we have no responsibility for the state that the world is in. How many people have seen the needs of poor and maybe even done something to "minister" to them, but refuse to change to change their day to day lives in order to help? We claim that "we know that alot of people are in need, but that doesn't mean that we have to feel guilty for being blessed." That's not only a sorry excuse, it's a huge load of crap. Christ's love took Him to the cross but ours won't even take us out of the suburbs? "I'm just not called to inner-city ministry or world missions." I don't claim to know where Christ calls everyone to be specifically, but he calls ALL of us to sacrifice.
"but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has been truly perfected, by this we know that we are in Him; the one who says that he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked." 1 John 2:5-6.
I don't claim to be an expert of following Christ(i fall everyday), but I can promise this, if are really going to walk as Christ did, we are going to have to do away with our selfishness, our fear of getting hurt, our small love, and our enjoyment of comfort and normalcy. Christ lived out none of those things, instead we adopted and accepted them from our own humanity.
The time has been long past for surrender. Give in to the stirrings of a new way. They are coming, a long-lost rain after a dry season and a thunderstorm cracking the sky and disturbing the quiet. Breathe deep the beauty of Christ; exhale selfish humanity, and inhale this life-changing grace.Let's go to the world with love on our lips.
I'm so tired of Christians with narrow visions, small dreams, and inclusive communities. Really? Really though? How does that even happen? I'm so tired of seeing Christ's body pulled so far apart that it no longer remembers how to work together. What have we done when the church in the suburbs has all the resources and doesn't see the church twenty minutes downtown that is meeting in a condemned house and has all the needs? Shane Claiborne says that "The greatest tragedy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor, but that rich Christians do not know the poor." I know lots of Christians who know the names of lots of charities that donate money to the poor, but they don't know any of the poor themselves, and I include myself because i willingly admit that I too have wandered far from the path that Christ walked. Christ went to the margins of society. He walked under the bridges, through the tent cities, and in the alleys behind the wealthy office buildings. He knew the dumpsters that people searched through to find food. He went to the red-light district of the city and found the woman selling themselves for a glimpse of "love". Christ dwelled in the places where we not only often refuse to walk, we condemn the people who do. We live as if we have the right to have anything we want and as if we have no responsibility for the state that the world is in. How many people have seen the needs of poor and maybe even done something to "minister" to them, but refuse to change to change their day to day lives in order to help? We claim that "we know that alot of people are in need, but that doesn't mean that we have to feel guilty for being blessed." That's not only a sorry excuse, it's a huge load of crap. Christ's love took Him to the cross but ours won't even take us out of the suburbs? "I'm just not called to inner-city ministry or world missions." I don't claim to know where Christ calls everyone to be specifically, but he calls ALL of us to sacrifice.
"but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has been truly perfected, by this we know that we are in Him; the one who says that he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked." 1 John 2:5-6.
I don't claim to be an expert of following Christ(i fall everyday), but I can promise this, if are really going to walk as Christ did, we are going to have to do away with our selfishness, our fear of getting hurt, our small love, and our enjoyment of comfort and normalcy. Christ lived out none of those things, instead we adopted and accepted them from our own humanity.
The time has been long past for surrender. Give in to the stirrings of a new way. They are coming, a long-lost rain after a dry season and a thunderstorm cracking the sky and disturbing the quiet. Breathe deep the beauty of Christ; exhale selfish humanity, and inhale this life-changing grace.Let's go to the world with love on our lips.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
love is strong & christ is freedom
...just for the record cause i know we all forget
Christ is our freedom from condemnation, sin, guilt, and shame. Beautiful release from the things that we no longer have to be burdened with, let's claim this peace and walk it in day by day, moment by moment. salvation is joy.
Agape love is strong. It never fails, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. This is love that we will forever need, love freely given from the Lord, and love that we should always pour back out. In a world as broken as this one, you might never know who is aching and in need of rescue. There are many broken hearts and love of Christ has the most remarkable healing powers. So embrace the full strength of Christ's love in your own life and then from that overflowing well let the Holy Spirit through you live out that love to others.
this is good stuff, in fact, its the best.
"To live on Christ's love is a King's life."
-Samuel Rutherford
Christ is our freedom from condemnation, sin, guilt, and shame. Beautiful release from the things that we no longer have to be burdened with, let's claim this peace and walk it in day by day, moment by moment. salvation is joy.
Agape love is strong. It never fails, always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. This is love that we will forever need, love freely given from the Lord, and love that we should always pour back out. In a world as broken as this one, you might never know who is aching and in need of rescue. There are many broken hearts and love of Christ has the most remarkable healing powers. So embrace the full strength of Christ's love in your own life and then from that overflowing well let the Holy Spirit through you live out that love to others.
this is good stuff, in fact, its the best.
"To live on Christ's love is a King's life."
-Samuel Rutherford
Friday, August 22, 2008
continuing on.....
project is over,
vacation is over,
and i've been at clemson for a week now.
And as long as it has taken me to come to this conclusion, I am ready and excited for this semester. I am ready to learn what it takes to be a nurse. I KNOW that this is what i want to do. I want to be able to really help people, and I want to be able to offer them spiritual and physical healing. Just to think that school now is preparing me to be a medical missionary later makes me so glad for the opportunity to be here. This semester is not going to be easy though, but i guess most things that are worth this much value aren't. I know that the Lord will be my strength and my wisdom, and i'm ready to see what i will learn in and out of class.
I love/am excited about:
-my quad & my international roommates
-my pathophysiology class... so interesting
-DCF: LOVE it
-my girls cuz they're amazing and i can't wait to see how God bring us together
-reading The Irresistible Revolution by shane claiborne. i just ordered it.
-living in God's peace
-going overseas next summer
-being able to give shots
-living with Lyndsey
-going to the lake
vacation is over,
and i've been at clemson for a week now.
And as long as it has taken me to come to this conclusion, I am ready and excited for this semester. I am ready to learn what it takes to be a nurse. I KNOW that this is what i want to do. I want to be able to really help people, and I want to be able to offer them spiritual and physical healing. Just to think that school now is preparing me to be a medical missionary later makes me so glad for the opportunity to be here. This semester is not going to be easy though, but i guess most things that are worth this much value aren't. I know that the Lord will be my strength and my wisdom, and i'm ready to see what i will learn in and out of class.
I love/am excited about:
-my quad & my international roommates
-my pathophysiology class... so interesting
-DCF: LOVE it
-my girls cuz they're amazing and i can't wait to see how God bring us together
-reading The Irresistible Revolution by shane claiborne. i just ordered it.
-living in God's peace
-going overseas next summer
-being able to give shots
-living with Lyndsey
-going to the lake
Friday, June 27, 2008
project days
Been on project for almost two weeks now, and i have experienced so much, learned so much, and seen so much... I can't describe it all. I sincerely can't even process it right now. I will write about it sometime i am sure, but right now there is only one thing i know, one thing i'm learning:
Everyone needs Jesus. Everyone needs Jesus. The sex-offenders, the homeless, the parole officers, the working poor, the college students, the pastors, the recovering addicts, those in power, the prisoners, the abused, the children, the cheerleaders, You and Me. All of us need Christ. We need Him above anything and anyone else. We need Him now. We need Him oh so badly. I have seen the faces of those with no hope. I have heard the stories of lives without purpose. These people yearn for a salvation that they search for in the saddest ways. They continually try more of this world and more of themselves and the keep coming up dry. Aching for pure, clean, living water, they yearn for a break from the dirtiness of a world that has long lost its innocence.I have heard their voices. I have learned their names, and yet more than i understand, they are oh so familiar to their Father. He created them, loves them, longs for them, and patiently pursues them with His grace. He created His son in the image of love that those with no hope would learn of this anchor of His unchanging peace. These faces of the lost remind me of what it is to live apart from the salvation of Christ. It's a scary picture. I don't want to remember life without rescue.
How blessed i am though, that i can live and walk in a redemption that i did not earn and do not deserve. Recently, i have seen this same salvation in the lives of my project mates. I have heard some of their stories, and i know that they were lost. They will freely admit that without Christ, they were NOTHING. Lost, dying, and without purpose, without hope. The same empty faces that we see here on the streets, in the prisons, or in offices, could very well be from our own pasts. The stories are all different, no two people are the same, but the common thread is the truth that we have all known life apart from this transforming love. However, the beauty of grace is that now, we, who are as undeserving of forgiveness as anyone we could meet, have been sent out with the Gospel placed on our lips by our Daddy. He taught us this captivating tale of a Savior coming to earth to love those who hated Him, and then He brought us in and made this story our own. Now we go out to speak it to others. No one is above hearing it, certainly not us, whether for the first or the five hundreth time. And no one is too low or too lost. Forgiveness is for all, and needed by all... Jesus is vital. There is no life apart from Him.
Everyone needs Jesus. Everyone needs Jesus. The sex-offenders, the homeless, the parole officers, the working poor, the college students, the pastors, the recovering addicts, those in power, the prisoners, the abused, the children, the cheerleaders, You and Me. All of us need Christ. We need Him above anything and anyone else. We need Him now. We need Him oh so badly. I have seen the faces of those with no hope. I have heard the stories of lives without purpose. These people yearn for a salvation that they search for in the saddest ways. They continually try more of this world and more of themselves and the keep coming up dry. Aching for pure, clean, living water, they yearn for a break from the dirtiness of a world that has long lost its innocence.I have heard their voices. I have learned their names, and yet more than i understand, they are oh so familiar to their Father. He created them, loves them, longs for them, and patiently pursues them with His grace. He created His son in the image of love that those with no hope would learn of this anchor of His unchanging peace. These faces of the lost remind me of what it is to live apart from the salvation of Christ. It's a scary picture. I don't want to remember life without rescue.
How blessed i am though, that i can live and walk in a redemption that i did not earn and do not deserve. Recently, i have seen this same salvation in the lives of my project mates. I have heard some of their stories, and i know that they were lost. They will freely admit that without Christ, they were NOTHING. Lost, dying, and without purpose, without hope. The same empty faces that we see here on the streets, in the prisons, or in offices, could very well be from our own pasts. The stories are all different, no two people are the same, but the common thread is the truth that we have all known life apart from this transforming love. However, the beauty of grace is that now, we, who are as undeserving of forgiveness as anyone we could meet, have been sent out with the Gospel placed on our lips by our Daddy. He taught us this captivating tale of a Savior coming to earth to love those who hated Him, and then He brought us in and made this story our own. Now we go out to speak it to others. No one is above hearing it, certainly not us, whether for the first or the five hundreth time. And no one is too low or too lost. Forgiveness is for all, and needed by all... Jesus is vital. There is no life apart from Him.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
searching for wealth
and we went on a scavenger hunt to try and understand the homeless a little bit more, and we went dumpster diving to try and retrieve anything of value. I seriously do not understand how anyone could ever survive off of food found in a dumpster. I promise i didn't eat anything out of the dumpster, but i smelled it up close and personal and that was enough....
show me how deep the rabbit hole goes....
Poverty in America... Homeless... the working poor...
Is it their fault? Are they all drug addicts? Are they lazy? Irresponsible? Dumb?
I've been on Seattle project for four days and if there's one thing I've learned about poverty and homelessness, it's that it is so much more complicated than i know. So many facets and so many factors. I have been so ignorant to lump the poor into one faceless group and assume that i know anything or have any understanding of what it is to live in poverty. We are going through a study on project called Compassion by Command, it's kind of life-changing and i think that everyone should have to do it...Anyways, one of the things that we did in the study early on was defined poverty, I have always assumed that being poor was a lack of possessions, no money, no car, no food.. But in reality, poverty is so much more of a lack of options, which can be brought on by a lack of possessions, but goes much deeper than that. If I were in Columbia right now, or even at Clemson, and i had no money, no car, no food, I could find a way to get whatever i needed. I'm definitely not saying that i'm smarter at all, what i'm trying to get at, is that I, and alot of us have resources. We have connections, educations, and an understanding of what we would need and how to get it. So many people living in poverty in the US, don't have the simple things that we take for granted. Many in poverty have no family to turn to and the people that they have an opportunity to meet and connect with are others in the same situations; so we have these social classes where the rich network with the rich, and the poor network with the poor, Okay just slightly problematic. By creating divisions, we trap people within the barriers we erect, and even when they search for a better life, they have no where to start, no where to go.
More problems with the system we esteem, it ultimately attempts to provide a way for people to survive in poverty, and it makes little or no effort to provide them a way to move up in income or social class. In fact, often times, when people are somewhat successful in bettering their situation by getting a better job or working more hours, they are often "punished" by the programs that claim to help. We are watching a video about a single mom trying to raise her daughter with a low-income. And some of the most frustrating things are the way that she gets trapped within a system that makes no sense. After her apartment building is closed down, she is forced onto the streets and seeks refuge at a local shelter. Well, she is told that the only people who are eligible for the shelter are those who don't have jobs because they are the most in need, but the shelter also doesn't provide food, so you have to buy your own meals. What? You can't make money, but you have to pay for your own food? How does that make any sense? Another spiral occurs when she is trying to find a new apartment. First of all, she loses her job because she has to spend a half a day trying to find a place to live. And then she starts looking for a new job, but every job requires an address: so she can't get a job without an apartment, but she can't get an apartment until she gets a job. That is why people live in shelters instead of finding somewhere to live. The system is straight up screwed up and many are completely trapped in this cycle of poverty.
I could go on forever, but it's late and i have to be at jail at eight... haha. that's right i'm going to prison. Anyways, bottom line: poverty is more complicated than we know. The system is flawed. The church is flawed, called to be Christ's hands and feet; we are often not going, and the world knows when we are acting out of self-preservation rather than the sacrificial LOVE that Christ demonstrated and called us to walk in. More to come on that point later.
Is it their fault? Are they all drug addicts? Are they lazy? Irresponsible? Dumb?
I've been on Seattle project for four days and if there's one thing I've learned about poverty and homelessness, it's that it is so much more complicated than i know. So many facets and so many factors. I have been so ignorant to lump the poor into one faceless group and assume that i know anything or have any understanding of what it is to live in poverty. We are going through a study on project called Compassion by Command, it's kind of life-changing and i think that everyone should have to do it...Anyways, one of the things that we did in the study early on was defined poverty, I have always assumed that being poor was a lack of possessions, no money, no car, no food.. But in reality, poverty is so much more of a lack of options, which can be brought on by a lack of possessions, but goes much deeper than that. If I were in Columbia right now, or even at Clemson, and i had no money, no car, no food, I could find a way to get whatever i needed. I'm definitely not saying that i'm smarter at all, what i'm trying to get at, is that I, and alot of us have resources. We have connections, educations, and an understanding of what we would need and how to get it. So many people living in poverty in the US, don't have the simple things that we take for granted. Many in poverty have no family to turn to and the people that they have an opportunity to meet and connect with are others in the same situations; so we have these social classes where the rich network with the rich, and the poor network with the poor, Okay just slightly problematic. By creating divisions, we trap people within the barriers we erect, and even when they search for a better life, they have no where to start, no where to go.
More problems with the system we esteem, it ultimately attempts to provide a way for people to survive in poverty, and it makes little or no effort to provide them a way to move up in income or social class. In fact, often times, when people are somewhat successful in bettering their situation by getting a better job or working more hours, they are often "punished" by the programs that claim to help. We are watching a video about a single mom trying to raise her daughter with a low-income. And some of the most frustrating things are the way that she gets trapped within a system that makes no sense. After her apartment building is closed down, she is forced onto the streets and seeks refuge at a local shelter. Well, she is told that the only people who are eligible for the shelter are those who don't have jobs because they are the most in need, but the shelter also doesn't provide food, so you have to buy your own meals. What? You can't make money, but you have to pay for your own food? How does that make any sense? Another spiral occurs when she is trying to find a new apartment. First of all, she loses her job because she has to spend a half a day trying to find a place to live. And then she starts looking for a new job, but every job requires an address: so she can't get a job without an apartment, but she can't get an apartment until she gets a job. That is why people live in shelters instead of finding somewhere to live. The system is straight up screwed up and many are completely trapped in this cycle of poverty.
I could go on forever, but it's late and i have to be at jail at eight... haha. that's right i'm going to prison. Anyways, bottom line: poverty is more complicated than we know. The system is flawed. The church is flawed, called to be Christ's hands and feet; we are often not going, and the world knows when we are acting out of self-preservation rather than the sacrificial LOVE that Christ demonstrated and called us to walk in. More to come on that point later.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
great and mighty things, of which thou knowest not
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me,
Over life's tempestuous seas.
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal,
Chart and Compass come from Thee,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
As a mother stills her child,
You can calm the oceans wild,
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
when You say to them, "Be Still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar,
Grant me long and peaceful rest,
Then while leaning on your chest,
May I hear You say to Me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."
Oh Christ, I know that Your thoughts and your plans are so very high above my own. Lord, I confess that I like my feeble human plans. They feel right to me and they are my desire and often my hope. But oh Lord, how foolish I am if I trust in my own plans over You. Lord, You are holy and right. Father, You alone are the designer and creator. I know that I am merely the workmanship, created to praise and to learn of this love, but never intended to be in control. Father God, teach me again to seek You, to love Your face more than any of these earthly ideas. Lord, make my quest to be simple to know You rather than to serve You in the ways that I design. Father God, I do desire to love You more, so make me Your servant that You would send me out wherever You desire. Lord, if I truly only want more of You, it should not matter whether your plan is for Seattle or Columbia, Africa or the East Coast. Make my love for You my only hope and passion, no matter where I am or what is happening. Only more of Christ. Open my eyes, Lord, I can't see enough.
Over life's tempestuous seas.
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal,
Chart and Compass come from Thee,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
As a mother stills her child,
You can calm the oceans wild,
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
when You say to them, "Be Still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar,
Grant me long and peaceful rest,
Then while leaning on your chest,
May I hear You say to Me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."
Oh Christ, I know that Your thoughts and your plans are so very high above my own. Lord, I confess that I like my feeble human plans. They feel right to me and they are my desire and often my hope. But oh Lord, how foolish I am if I trust in my own plans over You. Lord, You are holy and right. Father, You alone are the designer and creator. I know that I am merely the workmanship, created to praise and to learn of this love, but never intended to be in control. Father God, teach me again to seek You, to love Your face more than any of these earthly ideas. Lord, make my quest to be simple to know You rather than to serve You in the ways that I design. Father God, I do desire to love You more, so make me Your servant that You would send me out wherever You desire. Lord, if I truly only want more of You, it should not matter whether your plan is for Seattle or Columbia, Africa or the East Coast. Make my love for You my only hope and passion, no matter where I am or what is happening. Only more of Christ. Open my eyes, Lord, I can't see enough.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
journey to my brain.....
I write this blog... have no idea if anyone at all reads it( doubt it) but i write it anyways. It clears my mind, helps me explain myself, and gives me a place to empty my thoughts when no one wants to hear me talk. So i write.
These are my thoughts:
I went running tonight. I love running. Put my music on and empty my mind of everything but the song, the road, and the movement. Muscles straining, out of breath, sweating, tired, out of shape, but somehow, i love it. When i go running, i get make my body do what i want it to do. No one watching. No judgments and no justification. My body lets go. I'm pretty sure that when I'm running is the one time when my mind is completely free from worrying about what my body looks like. A t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and the road, and i am free. Straining my muscles, but my body is relaxed. It's completely at home in the fact that when i'm running i am unaware of my own opinion of my body.
I am leaving in about eight days for Seattle. Lots of little things to tie up before then. Nursing stuff: malpractice insurance, immunization records, 2nd tb test, CPR certification, scrubs, english class, and a background check. I keep freaking out that these things are done yet, but then somehow my freaking out doesn't lead me to actually accomplishing them. I just push them to the side and then worry some more that they're not finished yet. Smart? No. And Seattle stuff, thank you notes, support, packing, cleaning. I can't even think about it. I just want out. Let it all go, all the little things that i have stored up as worries in my mind and head out on this great adventure. Let's go Jesus, you and me. Help me to accomplish all the little things, so that i can focus on the only importance in this world. Only You.
TWLOHA is such a passion of mine. I love this organization and it is so important. Love( God's love) is the only thing that can combat the darkness in this world, and there is so much darkness. Sometimes, Christians have tendency to downplay the pain We say that we should focus on the good things. We should be thankful for what we have. Count our blessings. Yeah, if we are blessed in Christ than we should be thankful because we are freaking redeemed. That is our blessing. How dare we, who have it all, lecture those who are suffering without Christ, telling them that it's their fault, or that they should look for the silver lining. There is no freaking silver lining without Christ! There is nothing! You can't tell people to cheer up and look for hope if they don't know Christ. There is no hope apart from Him. If we forgotten that, than we don't know what blessings are. So when we see those who are struggling through this world, in pain, in darkness, instead of judging all their sinful, horrible actions, why don't we show them the one thing that they need? Show Love. Write Love. With our actions, with our speech, with the simple way that we live and interact in this world that is not our home. Do we show people why our lives our different? Do we show them why we can see the silver lining? Do we see it? Because yes, this world is freaking full of pain and we are going to feel some of that if we live here, but we can count our blessings because we are saved. Do others see that in us and desire that salvation? Do we show them that there is hope and rescue from the very real pain in this world. We have to. That is our response to the love that we now know. That is our thankfulness. Love apart from moral finger-pointing and judgment, loving others like we have been loved. Writing love on the bleeding, scarred arms of the world.
I don't know why i'm obsessed with writing intense things. I think about intense things alot, and i guess that simple things are the stuff that most people want to hear about. Or at least, simple things are the ones that are easier to talk about. Yeah, i might be thinking about Somalia, or teenagers struggling with depression, or body issues, or fair trade, or pediatric nursing, or prisons, but you really don't want a twenty minute conversation about something that you feel like doesn't apply to you, so I'm not about to pour my heart out and lay my honest emotions and thoughts on the line so you can look at me like i'm crazy. If you don't want to hear about child trafficking on cocoa plantations in Ghana, then i'm not gonna tell you about it, but when you ask me what's going on in my head, don't expect to get a deep answer. All the thoughts that are genuine and sincere are too intense or "boring" or whatever and no one really wants to hear it, so i write about it. I have to get it out somehow.
Zimbabwe is like in complete chaos right now. There's a scheduled run-off election June 27th between Mugabe and Tsvaingari(sp?), of the Zanu-PF and MDC parties respectively. There have been so many examples of intimidation tactics, mostly coming from the Zanu-PF party. There have been widespread reports of Zanu-PF torture camps set up to convince people to vote for Mugabe. Sixty-five people at minimum have been reported as killed in the post election violence. Now, all the aid organizations have been kicked out of Zimbabwe. In a country where literally millions of people depend on food aid for basic survival, they are now not receiving any. Zimbabwe is falling apart and most Americans not only don't know, they really wouldn't care if they were informed, simply because they feel like a far-off African country doesn't apply to them. I guess i can understand that...kind of...but that doesn't describe me. Somehow, whatever happens in Zimbabwe does apply to me. I care a heck of a whole lot, and if someone gave me the chance to be in Zimbabwe right now, i would take it in a heartbeat.
Currently 1:10 am.... I have been writing for hours. Bed time. Good night.
These are my thoughts:
I went running tonight. I love running. Put my music on and empty my mind of everything but the song, the road, and the movement. Muscles straining, out of breath, sweating, tired, out of shape, but somehow, i love it. When i go running, i get make my body do what i want it to do. No one watching. No judgments and no justification. My body lets go. I'm pretty sure that when I'm running is the one time when my mind is completely free from worrying about what my body looks like. A t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and the road, and i am free. Straining my muscles, but my body is relaxed. It's completely at home in the fact that when i'm running i am unaware of my own opinion of my body.
I am leaving in about eight days for Seattle. Lots of little things to tie up before then. Nursing stuff: malpractice insurance, immunization records, 2nd tb test, CPR certification, scrubs, english class, and a background check. I keep freaking out that these things are done yet, but then somehow my freaking out doesn't lead me to actually accomplishing them. I just push them to the side and then worry some more that they're not finished yet. Smart? No. And Seattle stuff, thank you notes, support, packing, cleaning. I can't even think about it. I just want out. Let it all go, all the little things that i have stored up as worries in my mind and head out on this great adventure. Let's go Jesus, you and me. Help me to accomplish all the little things, so that i can focus on the only importance in this world. Only You.
TWLOHA is such a passion of mine. I love this organization and it is so important. Love( God's love) is the only thing that can combat the darkness in this world, and there is so much darkness. Sometimes, Christians have tendency to downplay the pain We say that we should focus on the good things. We should be thankful for what we have. Count our blessings. Yeah, if we are blessed in Christ than we should be thankful because we are freaking redeemed. That is our blessing. How dare we, who have it all, lecture those who are suffering without Christ, telling them that it's their fault, or that they should look for the silver lining. There is no freaking silver lining without Christ! There is nothing! You can't tell people to cheer up and look for hope if they don't know Christ. There is no hope apart from Him. If we forgotten that, than we don't know what blessings are. So when we see those who are struggling through this world, in pain, in darkness, instead of judging all their sinful, horrible actions, why don't we show them the one thing that they need? Show Love. Write Love. With our actions, with our speech, with the simple way that we live and interact in this world that is not our home. Do we show people why our lives our different? Do we show them why we can see the silver lining? Do we see it? Because yes, this world is freaking full of pain and we are going to feel some of that if we live here, but we can count our blessings because we are saved. Do others see that in us and desire that salvation? Do we show them that there is hope and rescue from the very real pain in this world. We have to. That is our response to the love that we now know. That is our thankfulness. Love apart from moral finger-pointing and judgment, loving others like we have been loved. Writing love on the bleeding, scarred arms of the world.
I don't know why i'm obsessed with writing intense things. I think about intense things alot, and i guess that simple things are the stuff that most people want to hear about. Or at least, simple things are the ones that are easier to talk about. Yeah, i might be thinking about Somalia, or teenagers struggling with depression, or body issues, or fair trade, or pediatric nursing, or prisons, but you really don't want a twenty minute conversation about something that you feel like doesn't apply to you, so I'm not about to pour my heart out and lay my honest emotions and thoughts on the line so you can look at me like i'm crazy. If you don't want to hear about child trafficking on cocoa plantations in Ghana, then i'm not gonna tell you about it, but when you ask me what's going on in my head, don't expect to get a deep answer. All the thoughts that are genuine and sincere are too intense or "boring" or whatever and no one really wants to hear it, so i write about it. I have to get it out somehow.
Zimbabwe is like in complete chaos right now. There's a scheduled run-off election June 27th between Mugabe and Tsvaingari(sp?), of the Zanu-PF and MDC parties respectively. There have been so many examples of intimidation tactics, mostly coming from the Zanu-PF party. There have been widespread reports of Zanu-PF torture camps set up to convince people to vote for Mugabe. Sixty-five people at minimum have been reported as killed in the post election violence. Now, all the aid organizations have been kicked out of Zimbabwe. In a country where literally millions of people depend on food aid for basic survival, they are now not receiving any. Zimbabwe is falling apart and most Americans not only don't know, they really wouldn't care if they were informed, simply because they feel like a far-off African country doesn't apply to them. I guess i can understand that...kind of...but that doesn't describe me. Somehow, whatever happens in Zimbabwe does apply to me. I care a heck of a whole lot, and if someone gave me the chance to be in Zimbabwe right now, i would take it in a heartbeat.
Currently 1:10 am.... I have been writing for hours. Bed time. Good night.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
redemption is here
LOVE:
is a movement
is enough
is all
Love is a movement. People have often asked what that phrase means and why is it important to me. The easy answer is that it is the title to a favorite song of mine. A song about redemption and boldness. But more than that, this phrase is truth. Love, begins with God. We would not even know it if we had not been shown, and God's love, so much more than ours, is not simply an emotion, but more of an action. God's love is Christ descending and being forsaken. God's love is the pain of the cross and the beauty of the empty tomb. God's love is the call to the lost sheep. God's love is the willing hands to cleanse the leper. God's love is warm smile to a harlot who has only known hatred. God's love is the tears wept over a dying friend. God's love is the voice that calls out freedom. God's love is food for the hungry. God's love is homeless Savior. God's love is forgiveness spoken from a martyr underneath the crushing stones. God's love is not easy. God's love is not safe. It is not stagnant nor self-seeking. God's love is painful, sometimes breaking us to the core. It is dangerous, scary, and difficult.It is a movement. It removes us from ourselves. "We were made to be lovers bold, in broken places. Pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." God's love is the movement that came to us and changed our hearts. God's love is the movement that takes us to the world and empties us again.
Love is enough. If it were all stripped away, if all material things were gone, if family and friends were unreachable, would Christ, would His love be enough to sustain us? Is His love enough to fill our hearts and meet our needs? Nothing else can. "To live on Christ's love is a King's life." If we had nothing else, This love will still fill us. This fufiilling, liberating, and sustaining love is more than we need. To have nothing else, and live on this love alone, we would find that Christ's love is perfectly enough.
Love is all. "Beloved, there is nothing more. No more failures and no more rewards. Than the treasure of my body and blood given freely to all daughter and sons." In face of God's revolutionary, redeeming love, there can be nothing else. No more inadequacies, no more pride. No more of what this world says is important. No other salvation, no other rescue. Nothing else to live for. Love is all we need, all that saves us, and all we should desire.
is a movement
is enough
is all
Love is a movement. People have often asked what that phrase means and why is it important to me. The easy answer is that it is the title to a favorite song of mine. A song about redemption and boldness. But more than that, this phrase is truth. Love, begins with God. We would not even know it if we had not been shown, and God's love, so much more than ours, is not simply an emotion, but more of an action. God's love is Christ descending and being forsaken. God's love is the pain of the cross and the beauty of the empty tomb. God's love is the call to the lost sheep. God's love is the willing hands to cleanse the leper. God's love is warm smile to a harlot who has only known hatred. God's love is the tears wept over a dying friend. God's love is the voice that calls out freedom. God's love is food for the hungry. God's love is homeless Savior. God's love is forgiveness spoken from a martyr underneath the crushing stones. God's love is not easy. God's love is not safe. It is not stagnant nor self-seeking. God's love is painful, sometimes breaking us to the core. It is dangerous, scary, and difficult.It is a movement. It removes us from ourselves. "We were made to be lovers bold, in broken places. Pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." God's love is the movement that came to us and changed our hearts. God's love is the movement that takes us to the world and empties us again.
Love is enough. If it were all stripped away, if all material things were gone, if family and friends were unreachable, would Christ, would His love be enough to sustain us? Is His love enough to fill our hearts and meet our needs? Nothing else can. "To live on Christ's love is a King's life." If we had nothing else, This love will still fill us. This fufiilling, liberating, and sustaining love is more than we need. To have nothing else, and live on this love alone, we would find that Christ's love is perfectly enough.
Love is all. "Beloved, there is nothing more. No more failures and no more rewards. Than the treasure of my body and blood given freely to all daughter and sons." In face of God's revolutionary, redeeming love, there can be nothing else. No more inadequacies, no more pride. No more of what this world says is important. No other salvation, no other rescue. Nothing else to live for. Love is all we need, all that saves us, and all we should desire.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
Mat Kearney:
This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you
This is my second chance
This is my one romance
This is the cutting line
On which I stand to show you
It happened fast in a flash just this evening
I hit the gas, horn blast, brakes screaming
Car crash, broken glass, broke my dreaming
I hit the dash so fast my ears are ringing
My sister's on the right side just slightly leaning
I grabbed her hand hard until she started breathing
My brothers in the back jaw cracked from the beating
The breath in my chest has slipped and I'm sinking
Blinking through diamond spider webs of cracked glass
I'm trying to remember all the words you said in the past
Through the ash, siren screams and red beams
I hear you sing softly to me
[chorus]
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it's got to change
This is my broken heart
This is my bleeding start
This is the way I've come to know you
This is my winding road
This is my way back home
This is the narrow door you know that I will walk through
I got a letter today of why she went away
She said 'it's better this way, you knew I never could stay'
Half empty closets and frames, all that's left to my name
As she left in the rain and left my heart on a chain
Three years I've built this two face tower for hours on a lease
You gave me one yellow flower that said rest in peace
IN pieces I've broken open to think too much or just enough
Alone to trust midst the rubble and the dust
Humbled, it took this much to break down and understand
Spent half my life on castles made of sand
Tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand
Now I can finally stand
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it's got to change
This is my renaissance. This is my one response. This is the way i say i love you.
This is my renaissance
This is my one response
This is the way I say I love you
This is my second chance
This is my one romance
This is the cutting line
On which I stand to show you
It happened fast in a flash just this evening
I hit the gas, horn blast, brakes screaming
Car crash, broken glass, broke my dreaming
I hit the dash so fast my ears are ringing
My sister's on the right side just slightly leaning
I grabbed her hand hard until she started breathing
My brothers in the back jaw cracked from the beating
The breath in my chest has slipped and I'm sinking
Blinking through diamond spider webs of cracked glass
I'm trying to remember all the words you said in the past
Through the ash, siren screams and red beams
I hear you sing softly to me
[chorus]
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it's got to change
This is my broken heart
This is my bleeding start
This is the way I've come to know you
This is my winding road
This is my way back home
This is the narrow door you know that I will walk through
I got a letter today of why she went away
She said 'it's better this way, you knew I never could stay'
Half empty closets and frames, all that's left to my name
As she left in the rain and left my heart on a chain
Three years I've built this two face tower for hours on a lease
You gave me one yellow flower that said rest in peace
IN pieces I've broken open to think too much or just enough
Alone to trust midst the rubble and the dust
Humbled, it took this much to break down and understand
Spent half my life on castles made of sand
Tossed in the breakers in the palm of your hand
Now I can finally stand
I can be the wall when you fall down
Find me on the rocks when you break down
I heard it in the song when you call out
But I got to say now it's got to change
This is my renaissance. This is my one response. This is the way i say i love you.
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
story of my summer.....
So...I'm going to Seattle for summer project this summer. Exciting? Yes definitely. I have known that i wanted to go on summer project since after spring break of my freshman year. I am excited to do prison ministry. I am excited to do inner-city ministry. I'm excited to meet my project mates. I am excited to be in Seattle. I'm excited about growing in the Lord and proclaiming His name in a place that has previously been unknown to me. Four weeks that will challenge me, encourage me, and excite me. Project will be amazing. Definitely can't wait.
But... project is only one part of my summer. June 14th through July 12th. That leaves me May 4th through June 13th and July 13th through August 15th. Time, time, time, time, time, time. So.... I'm currently at home and will be here for a while. Plans for being at home? Yep, staying busy. Working at Marble Slab and volunteering at a pediatric clinic. Running, working out, Spending time with Jesus, reading, writing, and discovering good music. Can't wait to be in Seattle, but excited for once about time at home. Excited about proclaiming the Lord's name when i'm scooping ice cream. Excited about doing what i might potentially be doing for a lot of my life. Excited about learning and growing and being challenged in different ways.
Excited about spending my summer with Jesus. He's pretty awesome.
Monday, April 14, 2008
acres of hope
I often find myself in this paralyzing fear of being wrong. Saying the wrong thing, doing something that will bother someone, not doing something that I'm supposed to do, not being smart enough, not having the right answer, even though sometimes there is no specific right answer at all. Why do i struggle so much with just being myself? Why am I so afraid to be seen or heard? Am I afraid that I will be misunderstood? Or am i afraid that I will be really seen?
Why have i been so consistently paralyzed by this fear? Why am I afraid to really be myself?
No more, I am tired of this insecurity. I know that growing away from it is a slow process and I will always be learning, but I will not stop growing. I refuse to hide from who I am. I will embrace myself the way that the Lord has created me. If I am not condemned by Him, how then should I condemn myself? I will not. I will learn to be joyful about being the Workmanship of the Living God. I have made mistakes and I am not done with making them. I am a sinner. A sinner saved only by grace and my past, present, and future have been reconciled with the Lord through the blood of Christ.
Looking back on the road so far
I see the journey's left it share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it's clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery
Looking back you know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk through rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see
How my failures bring humility
Brings me to my knees
Helps me see my need for Thee
Though I questioned the sky, now i see why
Had to walk through rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back over the course of my life, and even over my semester and my year, I can definitely see that the journey has left it's share of scars. Scars from doubting the beauty of God's plan for me, scars from denying His mercy, scars from hating myself. Scars on my arms and scars on my heart. For so long, I have seen these scars and been so ashamed of my sin. Covered in guilt, refusing to truly accept the grace in which I am called to stand, my scars became a visible reminder of my sin. I saw them as a way to constantly tell myself that I was nothing but a screw-up.
A friend once told me to see my scars differently. At the time, i didn't fully understand how that could happen, or what he even meant by that. Now, weeks close to a month later, I can grasp this concept more fully. Looking back, even over my scars, I see the lead of love. My failures are failures indeed, but they have helped me to see my need for the Lord. The have brought me to my knees and therefore closer to His side. Christ has brought me through, and I can see how walking through the rocks has produced a mountain view. Guided by the lead of love, Christ has brought me through it all. Even the times when left His path, Christ did not leave me. I have been led by His hand into this Grace in which I now Stand. Unashamed, Uncondemned, Accepted and Loved.
Why have i been so consistently paralyzed by this fear? Why am I afraid to really be myself?
No more, I am tired of this insecurity. I know that growing away from it is a slow process and I will always be learning, but I will not stop growing. I refuse to hide from who I am. I will embrace myself the way that the Lord has created me. If I am not condemned by Him, how then should I condemn myself? I will not. I will learn to be joyful about being the Workmanship of the Living God. I have made mistakes and I am not done with making them. I am a sinner. A sinner saved only by grace and my past, present, and future have been reconciled with the Lord through the blood of Christ.
Looking back on the road so far
I see the journey's left it share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it's clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery
Looking back you know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk through rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see
How my failures bring humility
Brings me to my knees
Helps me see my need for Thee
Though I questioned the sky, now i see why
Had to walk through rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back over the course of my life, and even over my semester and my year, I can definitely see that the journey has left it's share of scars. Scars from doubting the beauty of God's plan for me, scars from denying His mercy, scars from hating myself. Scars on my arms and scars on my heart. For so long, I have seen these scars and been so ashamed of my sin. Covered in guilt, refusing to truly accept the grace in which I am called to stand, my scars became a visible reminder of my sin. I saw them as a way to constantly tell myself that I was nothing but a screw-up.
A friend once told me to see my scars differently. At the time, i didn't fully understand how that could happen, or what he even meant by that. Now, weeks close to a month later, I can grasp this concept more fully. Looking back, even over my scars, I see the lead of love. My failures are failures indeed, but they have helped me to see my need for the Lord. The have brought me to my knees and therefore closer to His side. Christ has brought me through, and I can see how walking through the rocks has produced a mountain view. Guided by the lead of love, Christ has brought me through it all. Even the times when left His path, Christ did not leave me. I have been led by His hand into this Grace in which I now Stand. Unashamed, Uncondemned, Accepted and Loved.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
child labor has stained my chocolate red
Chocolate. Smooth, sweet, creamy, tasty. Eat it when you're bored, frustrated, happy, and whatever else. Chocolate just makes everything better! The ultimate cure-all, how can you eat chocolate without smiling? Ice cream, cake, candy, brownies, frosting, cookies, muffins, pancakes...everything is better with chocolate. A little cocoa and the world smiles. Well, America smiles. Europe smiles. Developed countries smile. Corporations smile. Hershey's smiles. M&Ms smiles. Nestle smiles. Smiles, Smiles all around! Chocolate is so good! Can there be anyone left unhappy? Anyone? Anyone?Wait do i hear a cry? Is someone protesting? Not possible! Who would protest against something so good? Something so sweet! And yet, someone is protesting! Inconceivable, and yet, i see a hand raised in objection. I see this hand, hear a cry. What can this voice be saying? What could possibly be wrong? Why is there a measure of pain in the tone of his cry? Why is his hand straining to reach higher, wavering in the attempt to be seen? No one wants to answer him. His voice is begging for acknowledgment, but it will cost to much to answer him. So much easier to ignore to cry of a child. So much easier, so that is what we have learned to do. All across the western world. That is what we have learned to do. Turned away from the child who begs our attention, we have never learned what caused his protest. We could have learned and changed and grown from the lessons in his voice, but we would've had to put away our old way of doing things. Mhmm. Too much work. Too much sacrifice. To be asked to consider our impact on others? To be asked to live our everyday lives in such a way as to reduce the harm that we are causing around the world? To be asked to lay down our rights? We have the right to buy what we want. Eat what we want. It's not a our job to take care of these problems all around the world. Let someone fix them. It's not our job.
The cry of protest echoes from the voices of hundreds of thousands of children trapped on cocoa farms in western Africa, Brazil, and Indonesia. Trafficked from other countries, sold by their parents, put to work by their family members, these children work from dawn to dusk picking cocoa beans, 400 of which only equal one pound of chocolate. Harvesting with machetes, spraying plants with harmful chemicals that will cause sores on their skin and make them sick, they don't have any choices. Abused and enslaved, they will work and work and work for little or no money. More cocoa beans, more, more, they can never pick enough to get out of the cycle. They harvest the cocoa that makes the chocolate that makes us smile. They don't understand our happiness, but it could just be because they don't have any chocolate to help make them happy. They have never tasted the final product of their lifetimes of labor. Oh well. We have the chocolate. It tasted good. What else matters?
The guilt sets it lightly....
A solution? A solution? Let it be named! Let us hear the answer! What can we do? This situation is bad, we should do something......Stop buying this chocolate??? Stop buying and consuming chocolate made of the bloodied backs of children struggling to survive so far away from the mansions of our homes? Not good enough. We like this chocolate. We have a right to eat it! We bought it! Never mind the cost it came at.Fair trade chocolate? What is this? Chocolate farmers paid an equal exchange for their products so that they can hire legitimate labor? No children harmed? But wait, this is more expensive!! Reducing the cost to the child who cries in protest, it has raised the price for us! That's not acceptable! We can't afford to buy this more expensive chocolate! Why would we pay so much more for this when other chocolate is cheaper and easier to buy? Ehhhh....ethics. No. It's not our job to fix the problems of the world. Let someone else take care of them. It's not our job.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
on the shores of the broken
Hope grows between cracks in the asphault
In the downtown ghetto streets that contour
The government housing intentions of my heart
No one notices the daisies don't care
About gang related violence
As long as they get enough air and water and sun
They're all just fine
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here somewhere between
The Saturday cartooons and the dirty magazines
He's raising the dead in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dreams
His name is Hope
Hope stands high on the 15th floor
On a Christmas tree perched about the ledge of a fortress
A steel that's trying to hard to be somebody's home
As it sees my attention from I-85 though the throws of the day
Were still writhing inside
I lifted my head as I drove home that night and knew
Everything was gonna be fine
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here not worried or afraid
That some politician forgot all the promises he made
And he's raising the dead in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dreams
His name is Hope
Can you hear him outside he's been singing all night
He's saying when you gonna come out from behind
These paper thin walls, your cardboard box realities
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here not worried or afraid
That some politician forgot all the promises he made
And he's raising the dreams in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dead
His name is Hope
John Mark McMillan
In the downtown ghetto streets that contour
The government housing intentions of my heart
No one notices the daisies don't care
About gang related violence
As long as they get enough air and water and sun
They're all just fine
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here somewhere between
The Saturday cartooons and the dirty magazines
He's raising the dead in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dreams
His name is Hope
Hope stands high on the 15th floor
On a Christmas tree perched about the ledge of a fortress
A steel that's trying to hard to be somebody's home
As it sees my attention from I-85 though the throws of the day
Were still writhing inside
I lifted my head as I drove home that night and knew
Everything was gonna be fine
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here not worried or afraid
That some politician forgot all the promises he made
And he's raising the dead in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dreams
His name is Hope
Can you hear him outside he's been singing all night
He's saying when you gonna come out from behind
These paper thin walls, your cardboard box realities
Who would've thought it but life is finding a way
Through this wasteland of cynics, concrete, and pain
There's a man down here not worried or afraid
That some politician forgot all the promises he made
And he's raising the dreams in the graveyards
Where we've laid down our dead
His name is Hope
John Mark McMillan
Saturday, March 22, 2008
nothing but pursuing grace
I am selfish. I am learning more and more that i am really selfish. A selfish, prideful, error-filled sinner. Everyday and every hour, i mess up. I mess up and i'm beginning to see this more and more, and it often fills me with sadness and frustration, just to know that i will never get it completely right. I will always be filled with error, and yet, somehow, i am still considered holy in the eyes of God through Christ's blood. Holy, righteous, clean??? It confuses me so much to hear these words in reference to my heart. Can it be true? Can life be new? Could it be all that I am is only in You? Can grace really be all-sufficient for even me? Can forgiveness really cleanse that deep?
The Lord has said, "come let us reason together, though your sins were as scarlet, they will be white as snow..." But I honestly have just had a really hard time believing that. Especially this semester, I have understood with my mind, and yet not with my heart. Grace makes sense is theory, but not in the reality of the depth of my sin. When it comes down to the barest facts, my sin is too much, and God's grace is too weak. This is what I have believed. Wrongly, yet i have believed it.
But Christ refutes this. He says no. He has defeated death in order that He might face the powers of hell and sin and shout them down and proclaim that they no longer have any power over me simply because I am His child and He has bought my FREEDOM! This is the beautiful, simple, wonderful love of the the Saviour. Uncomplicated, unmerited, unretreating, this grace is too good to be real, and yet....
The Lord recently taught me a lesson about this grace when I was in a state of doubt. I wanted to believe that God could cleanse and forgive, but i spent too long telling myself that my sin was beyond redemption. So while i was in Daytona Beach on my spring break trip, the Lord slowly but surely began working on my heart. The last meeting of Daytona, the message was about God's grace. I heard it, I heard the grace and forgiveness being preached, I heard it and I wanted to believe it, but my sin was shouting so loudly in my ear. I couldn't shut it out. I couldn't believe that it could be forgiven, much less forgotten. I ended up sitting on a balcony, praying to the Lord, crying out and asking if His grace could really be enough for me. He answered me in a way that only He would design. A couple rooms over, there were some drunk students hanging out on there balcony, watching the end of the crusade meeting that was still taking place below us. They were mocking, in their drunken state they basically cursed God and laughed at anyone who would dare to believe in something so silly as his love. As I sat and heard their jokes, a voice echoed in my head,
"What's the difference between you and them?"
"What do you possibly mean?" I asked, not understanding.
"What's the difference?"
I quickly went through a list in my head: Christian upbringing (no, that could not be it, I has no idea how they had been raised), Sin (NO, Christ has made me so aware of my sin, I could not deny that it the presence of a holy God, I was just as guilty as they), Being a better person (no, that's just ridiculous).
"What's the difference?"
Only one thing,
"Oh Christ, I want you. I want you, all of you. I am in love with you my Saviour. Nothing makes me worthy, but Lord, I want you."
Then I am yours, my child. I require nothing else, simply that you desire me in your life. If you want me, then I am yours.
That's the beauty of simple grace. Freely given, it payed for freedom too costly for us to attain on our own. Release from guilt, shame, and sin, This grace is too good to be real, and yet...and yet...not bound by our understanding, grace still abounds.
The Lord has said, "come let us reason together, though your sins were as scarlet, they will be white as snow..." But I honestly have just had a really hard time believing that. Especially this semester, I have understood with my mind, and yet not with my heart. Grace makes sense is theory, but not in the reality of the depth of my sin. When it comes down to the barest facts, my sin is too much, and God's grace is too weak. This is what I have believed. Wrongly, yet i have believed it.
But Christ refutes this. He says no. He has defeated death in order that He might face the powers of hell and sin and shout them down and proclaim that they no longer have any power over me simply because I am His child and He has bought my FREEDOM! This is the beautiful, simple, wonderful love of the the Saviour. Uncomplicated, unmerited, unretreating, this grace is too good to be real, and yet....
The Lord recently taught me a lesson about this grace when I was in a state of doubt. I wanted to believe that God could cleanse and forgive, but i spent too long telling myself that my sin was beyond redemption. So while i was in Daytona Beach on my spring break trip, the Lord slowly but surely began working on my heart. The last meeting of Daytona, the message was about God's grace. I heard it, I heard the grace and forgiveness being preached, I heard it and I wanted to believe it, but my sin was shouting so loudly in my ear. I couldn't shut it out. I couldn't believe that it could be forgiven, much less forgotten. I ended up sitting on a balcony, praying to the Lord, crying out and asking if His grace could really be enough for me. He answered me in a way that only He would design. A couple rooms over, there were some drunk students hanging out on there balcony, watching the end of the crusade meeting that was still taking place below us. They were mocking, in their drunken state they basically cursed God and laughed at anyone who would dare to believe in something so silly as his love. As I sat and heard their jokes, a voice echoed in my head,
"What's the difference between you and them?"
"What do you possibly mean?" I asked, not understanding.
"What's the difference?"
I quickly went through a list in my head: Christian upbringing (no, that could not be it, I has no idea how they had been raised), Sin (NO, Christ has made me so aware of my sin, I could not deny that it the presence of a holy God, I was just as guilty as they), Being a better person (no, that's just ridiculous).
"What's the difference?"
Only one thing,
"Oh Christ, I want you. I want you, all of you. I am in love with you my Saviour. Nothing makes me worthy, but Lord, I want you."
Then I am yours, my child. I require nothing else, simply that you desire me in your life. If you want me, then I am yours.
That's the beauty of simple grace. Freely given, it payed for freedom too costly for us to attain on our own. Release from guilt, shame, and sin, This grace is too good to be real, and yet...and yet...not bound by our understanding, grace still abounds.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Label me a liberal.....if you must.
"You're so Liberal!!!"
"You would! You're such a democrat!"
"Wait, you're not a republican? Don't vote."
Wow... I am so tired of politics. Tired of all of it, because it's all so annoying! Ok, seriously, there is never going to be a perfect person running for president. There is never going to be someone who you completely agree with. Furthermore, just because someone is a baptist pastor doesn't mean that they are going to be a good president. They might just have bad tax policies, or a education plan that you don't agree with, or a immigration policy that's a little too harsh. You don't have to like someone or agree with just because they're a Christian and you are too. Sometimes you have to actually examine the issues and platforms on which candidates are running and see what you agree with, what you don't, and why. Sometimes, you might actually need to look at BOTH democratic and republican candidates and not just automatically vote one way. Sometimes, you would be surprised what you would find if you examined the issues at hand, and how they impact the people of this country, liberals or conservatists, rich or poor, educated or not, Christians or not, women or men, gay or straight, employee or employer; the president affects everyone.
So here we go, and if this makes me a liberal than i accept the label, go ahead and judge me. These are my convictions and whether or not you agree, i will speak up for what i believe. Abortion is not the only political issue to be considered. I think that abortion is WRONG. I think that someone should stand up for the lives of children who don't yet have a voice. We need to fight for life. Life in all forms. Abortion is not the only issue where life is at stake. There are more. Capital punishment, are some people worth life and some people not? Should we protect life in all forms or only the lives that we appreciate? We claim that and eye for an eye is justice, but didn't Christ have something to say about that? We want the New Testament grace and mercy in our lives but we control others under the Old Testament law. In the name of justice? How just can it be when I deserve to die just as much as the prisoner sitting on death row? "This might not work and I don't guarantee that it will, but I've got no choice till you tell me who Jesus would kill. An I for I will never satisfy till there's nothing left to see."
Free trade. People and children are dying in factories corporations all around the world. Dying from the horrible work conditions that they are always under, dying from trying to make us some cheaper sneakers. Really though? Really? Dying from not having enough money for food because they don't get paid enough. Justice? Yes free trade does help us buy cheaper sneakers. That's exciting. Yay. While people die because there is no equal exchange for their labor, while they die because free trade doesn't have labor standards for children working in nike factories in Indonesia, while local farmers in central and south America can no longer put food on the table to feed their hungry children because large companies put them out of business, Should someone fight for these lives? Oh, do they just not matter because they are not in America? Oh, okay, so we should fight for life, but not the criminals lives and not the foreigners lives, not the lives that people that are worse sinners than we are, and not the lives of people who don't look like us.
Pro-life??? Or pro one type of life?
"Politics or love
can make you blind or make you see
can make you a slave or make you free
but only one does it all....
Are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend.....
love is not against the law
love is not against the law"
"You would! You're such a democrat!"
"Wait, you're not a republican? Don't vote."
Wow... I am so tired of politics. Tired of all of it, because it's all so annoying! Ok, seriously, there is never going to be a perfect person running for president. There is never going to be someone who you completely agree with. Furthermore, just because someone is a baptist pastor doesn't mean that they are going to be a good president. They might just have bad tax policies, or a education plan that you don't agree with, or a immigration policy that's a little too harsh. You don't have to like someone or agree with just because they're a Christian and you are too. Sometimes you have to actually examine the issues and platforms on which candidates are running and see what you agree with, what you don't, and why. Sometimes, you might actually need to look at BOTH democratic and republican candidates and not just automatically vote one way. Sometimes, you would be surprised what you would find if you examined the issues at hand, and how they impact the people of this country, liberals or conservatists, rich or poor, educated or not, Christians or not, women or men, gay or straight, employee or employer; the president affects everyone.
So here we go, and if this makes me a liberal than i accept the label, go ahead and judge me. These are my convictions and whether or not you agree, i will speak up for what i believe. Abortion is not the only political issue to be considered. I think that abortion is WRONG. I think that someone should stand up for the lives of children who don't yet have a voice. We need to fight for life. Life in all forms. Abortion is not the only issue where life is at stake. There are more. Capital punishment, are some people worth life and some people not? Should we protect life in all forms or only the lives that we appreciate? We claim that and eye for an eye is justice, but didn't Christ have something to say about that? We want the New Testament grace and mercy in our lives but we control others under the Old Testament law. In the name of justice? How just can it be when I deserve to die just as much as the prisoner sitting on death row? "This might not work and I don't guarantee that it will, but I've got no choice till you tell me who Jesus would kill. An I for I will never satisfy till there's nothing left to see."
Free trade. People and children are dying in factories corporations all around the world. Dying from the horrible work conditions that they are always under, dying from trying to make us some cheaper sneakers. Really though? Really? Dying from not having enough money for food because they don't get paid enough. Justice? Yes free trade does help us buy cheaper sneakers. That's exciting. Yay. While people die because there is no equal exchange for their labor, while they die because free trade doesn't have labor standards for children working in nike factories in Indonesia, while local farmers in central and south America can no longer put food on the table to feed their hungry children because large companies put them out of business, Should someone fight for these lives? Oh, do they just not matter because they are not in America? Oh, okay, so we should fight for life, but not the criminals lives and not the foreigners lives, not the lives that people that are worse sinners than we are, and not the lives of people who don't look like us.
Pro-life??? Or pro one type of life?
"Politics or love
can make you blind or make you see
can make you a slave or make you free
but only one does it all....
Are we defending life
when we just pick and choose
lives acceptable to lose
and which ones to defend.....
love is not against the law
love is not against the law"
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
When I think about the way....
I am tired, tired of failing. Tired of not being good enough. Tired of not being accepted. Tired of feeling like I should be smarter, or stronger, or more Christian, or cleaner, or whatever the crap else. I have no energy to try to please anyone else anymore, no freaking strength left.
I am the way that I am. I am a sinner, and i know that. I need to grow in the Lord and mature, i need to grow in love and grace, and i need to cease sinning. I need the Lord to continually renew my heart. I know. I will ALWAYS need more Christ in my life. More love, more grace.
Here's the deal though, other than my sin, I am the way that I am.
Like it or not, this is me. Anna Rebekah and I can't be no one else.
My mind is screwed up for real. I want my brain to work normally, but it doesn't. So forget this. I don't give a crap anymore.
Trying to please my roomates. Trying to please my parents. Trying to please my friends.
Trying to please my boss, my co-workers, my professors, my classmates......
Trying to please MYSELF.....
No more. Can't do it. I'm done with this. Forget this crap. No more.
"We are His portion and He is our prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that.....
That He love us,
whoa how He loves us,
whoa how He loves us,
Whoa how He loves."
CHRIST LOVES ME
OH, praise the Lord.
I am the way that I am. I am a sinner, and i know that. I need to grow in the Lord and mature, i need to grow in love and grace, and i need to cease sinning. I need the Lord to continually renew my heart. I know. I will ALWAYS need more Christ in my life. More love, more grace.
Here's the deal though, other than my sin, I am the way that I am.
Like it or not, this is me. Anna Rebekah and I can't be no one else.
My mind is screwed up for real. I want my brain to work normally, but it doesn't. So forget this. I don't give a crap anymore.
Trying to please my roomates. Trying to please my parents. Trying to please my friends.
Trying to please my boss, my co-workers, my professors, my classmates......
Trying to please MYSELF.....
No more. Can't do it. I'm done with this. Forget this crap. No more.
"We are His portion and He is our prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that.....
That He love us,
whoa how He loves us,
whoa how He loves us,
Whoa how He loves."
CHRIST LOVES ME
OH, praise the Lord.
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