I am tired, tired of failing. Tired of not being good enough. Tired of not being accepted. Tired of feeling like I should be smarter, or stronger, or more Christian, or cleaner, or whatever the crap else. I have no energy to try to please anyone else anymore, no freaking strength left.
I am the way that I am. I am a sinner, and i know that. I need to grow in the Lord and mature, i need to grow in love and grace, and i need to cease sinning. I need the Lord to continually renew my heart. I know. I will ALWAYS need more Christ in my life. More love, more grace.
Here's the deal though, other than my sin, I am the way that I am.
Like it or not, this is me. Anna Rebekah and I can't be no one else.
My mind is screwed up for real. I want my brain to work normally, but it doesn't. So forget this. I don't give a crap anymore.
Trying to please my roomates. Trying to please my parents. Trying to please my friends.
Trying to please my boss, my co-workers, my professors, my classmates......
Trying to please MYSELF.....
No more. Can't do it. I'm done with this. Forget this crap. No more.
"We are His portion and He is our prize,
drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
if grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that.....
That He love us,
whoa how He loves us,
whoa how He loves us,
Whoa how He loves."
CHRIST LOVES ME
OH, praise the Lord.
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