recent events:
Tuesday night, after an amazing all-staff intercession at IHOP-atlanta (what is usually a brief healing prayer turned into a 30 min prophetic song about a healing revival, complete with words of knowledge regarding conditions in the room), Hazen and I went with Laure and two of her friends, Carlton and Destiny, to pray for a friend of theirs who was in the hospital for multiple medical conditions. We went to her room, and prayed for her healing, with no immediate results. On the way out of the hospital, we saw a man in a wheel chair headed for the escaltors. Promptly, Carlton began chasing him down, which in turn caused the rest of us to follow suit. We caught up to him and Carlton asked him what had happened and if it would be okay for us to pray for him to be healed. This man explained to us that seven years ago a wall had fallen on him, which had bent both of his ankles backwards, broken his tibia and fibia in both legs and caused lots of damage in his left ankle. Since then, he has had constant excruciating pain in his left ankle from when he wakes up in the morning till he sleeps. He told us that walking a simple hallway, would leave him feeling as if he had tryed to run a marathon. He was currently using a wheel chair because he had walked down to the cafeteria, and his ankle was now in so much pain that he didn't want to walk any more and had gotten a wheel chair to take his food back.
So we prayed for him. Carlton led it off, and then after prayer asked him if he could stand up and test out his ankle to see if it was still in pain. At first, the man seemed confused by the request. He told us that he would walk if it would make us happy, and that he definitely could, it would just hurt. We briefly explained that we believed that all the pain in his ankle might now be gone due to our prayer. He agreed to stand up and see how it felt. He stood up, turned to face us, and looked at us with wide eyes. "Are you serious?" was his first statement. Tears started welling up. What's going on? we asked. How does it feel? "I don't feel anything. It feels the same as my right ankle. There's no pain" Tears started running down his face, which he wiped up on his t-shirt.
Amazing. I love, I love, I love the healing power of the cross.
I would be doing you an injustice though if I didn't tell you the rest of this story. Following this amazing healing, we presented the Gospel to this man, telling him that the same power of God that healed his foot was present and available to heal his heart and give him a new life. After laying out this good news, this man refused to accept Jesus. He told us that he was thankful for the gift he had gotten of his healing, but that he wasn't going to ask for anything else. So the wonderful miracle was followed by a nightmare. We stood next to this man listening to his reasonings for not worrying about eternity, and I kept wanting to grab his shoulders, shake him hard, and tell him that he was wrong, and he was going to go to hell and would be forever in torment. I pray his life soon changes. He needs Jesus.
So we must pray. More. We must pray more.
We need power and clarity on the Gospel for the turning of hearts. James 5:16
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
seventy three, twenty eight.
"Everything in me lined up with one reality, He was near me. He was close. His presence was altogether shocking, and all at once familiar. It was completely at home, and more distant than the farthest stars. Wilder than the most unsearched mountains, safer than the garden you have grown up next to, a burning fire that knows no hesitation, and a crashing wave that plummets you to the depths of the sea. I knew I was completely saved, yet I was sure I was utterly lost. How can one possibly recover from such a touch? How can there be any return? All faith is answered. All hope is gone. At the end of my understanding, He kept bringing me into His presence. His voice shook my dreams and questions, and it answered all my longings."
Saturday, October 23, 2010
thoughts, sights, and experiences
The Trial of Accusations:
I saw a platform type area, all covered in black fabric. As I kept looking, I could see that the platform went all the way around a small room and formed a sort of circular amphitheatre. It was full of seats, and each seat had a microphone at it and like a placemat in front of it. The seats were mostly full. As I saw this, I knew the seats were full of singers and that this was a court and the singers were trying or judging someone or something. The room had rows all the way up towards the ceiling and the thing on trial was at the bottom of the room on a small stage. I asked to go inside the vision and then I was sitting at one of the seats. There was like a desk cubby underneath the placemat in front of me and in it was a Bible, a pen, and a legal pad. Of all the singers, some were sitting on their chairs and some were passed out/curled up on the floor behind their chairs, and I knew they were encountering the Lord.
Different people were singing phrases from their encounters, and the things they were saying were the evidence trying what was on trial, which I felt like the Lord said was sin, disease, and death, but I also felt like what was on trial was “accusations” and looking at what was being tried, it was a dark creepy looking blob thing that was projecting outward. At first I thought it was accusations against the singers in the room and against each of their own hearts, but later I understood that it was also representing accusations against the Lord, and that it had first been called sin, disease, and death because those are all things in the world that accuse us of not really having a heavenly identity and accuse the Lord of not being who He says He is.
As the singers were all having encounters with the Lord, they would come out of their experiences and sing the things they had seen or experienced. They were all singing about the beauty of Jesus, and light was being produced in the room and fighting back the blob of accusations. As they were singing phrases about who the Lord really is, some of them were standing up declaring the truth emphatically.
Seeing this made me realize that declaring the reality of who the Lord is in worship is the only way to combat any accusation against Him or against yourself, because we have been born again in the Spirit of God(John 3:5-6) and accusations from the enemy can only really stand against our old nature, but when lies are being told to us about our new man, we have to answer from the reality of who Jesus is because that is the righteousness that we have now put on(Romans 3:21-22). I also realized that the only way to be able to declare this reality against the enemy is to encounter the Lord and allow Him to speak into your life, declaring who He is. Then you can take the knowledge of God that you have come face to face with and speak it out against the enemy.
At some point, I turned around and there was a bin inset into the wall behind each singer. In the bin there was a blanket and a pair of headphones. I asked the Lord and I felt like He said the headphones were for hearing the sounds of heaven, and I was confused because I didn’t understand why anyone would ever want to take them off, but I felt like He was saying it was too much to always hear. And I felt like the blanket was for either sleeping or for covering up with during the encounters.
At some point, I went outside and there was a table with clipboards on it, like what someone would have for sign-ups. I felt like the sign-up table was there to indicate that this reality of prophetic worship was available for anyone who is willing to say yes, or “sign up”.
I saw a platform type area, all covered in black fabric. As I kept looking, I could see that the platform went all the way around a small room and formed a sort of circular amphitheatre. It was full of seats, and each seat had a microphone at it and like a placemat in front of it. The seats were mostly full. As I saw this, I knew the seats were full of singers and that this was a court and the singers were trying or judging someone or something. The room had rows all the way up towards the ceiling and the thing on trial was at the bottom of the room on a small stage. I asked to go inside the vision and then I was sitting at one of the seats. There was like a desk cubby underneath the placemat in front of me and in it was a Bible, a pen, and a legal pad. Of all the singers, some were sitting on their chairs and some were passed out/curled up on the floor behind their chairs, and I knew they were encountering the Lord.
Different people were singing phrases from their encounters, and the things they were saying were the evidence trying what was on trial, which I felt like the Lord said was sin, disease, and death, but I also felt like what was on trial was “accusations” and looking at what was being tried, it was a dark creepy looking blob thing that was projecting outward. At first I thought it was accusations against the singers in the room and against each of their own hearts, but later I understood that it was also representing accusations against the Lord, and that it had first been called sin, disease, and death because those are all things in the world that accuse us of not really having a heavenly identity and accuse the Lord of not being who He says He is.
As the singers were all having encounters with the Lord, they would come out of their experiences and sing the things they had seen or experienced. They were all singing about the beauty of Jesus, and light was being produced in the room and fighting back the blob of accusations. As they were singing phrases about who the Lord really is, some of them were standing up declaring the truth emphatically.
Seeing this made me realize that declaring the reality of who the Lord is in worship is the only way to combat any accusation against Him or against yourself, because we have been born again in the Spirit of God(John 3:5-6) and accusations from the enemy can only really stand against our old nature, but when lies are being told to us about our new man, we have to answer from the reality of who Jesus is because that is the righteousness that we have now put on(Romans 3:21-22). I also realized that the only way to be able to declare this reality against the enemy is to encounter the Lord and allow Him to speak into your life, declaring who He is. Then you can take the knowledge of God that you have come face to face with and speak it out against the enemy.
At some point, I turned around and there was a bin inset into the wall behind each singer. In the bin there was a blanket and a pair of headphones. I asked the Lord and I felt like He said the headphones were for hearing the sounds of heaven, and I was confused because I didn’t understand why anyone would ever want to take them off, but I felt like He was saying it was too much to always hear. And I felt like the blanket was for either sleeping or for covering up with during the encounters.
At some point, I went outside and there was a table with clipboards on it, like what someone would have for sign-ups. I felt like the sign-up table was there to indicate that this reality of prophetic worship was available for anyone who is willing to say yes, or “sign up”.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
graveside wedding
when I was still your enemy
You came for me
You've loved me so completely
and now my heart is set on You
You've never let me go
You've never let me down
You chased me before time
and You turned my life around
when I was still your enemy
You came for me
You've loved me so completely
and now my heart is set on You
You came for me
You've loved me so completely
and now my heart is set on You
You've never let me go
You've never let me down
You chased me before time
and You turned my life around
when I was still your enemy
You came for me
You've loved me so completely
and now my heart is set on You
Monday, May 17, 2010
internship: happiness
Started my internship at ihop.
AMEN.
and I have some thoughts about the nature of happiness. I have always heard that there is a difference between joy and happiness. That happiness is dependent on your circumstances and therefore fleeting and capricious. Well, being in the prayer room so far, the one over-riding emotion or expression in my heart has been happiness, pure, absurdly excited happiness. Now I'm not claiming to have a deep biblical understanding of either words, joy or happiness (although i need one) but i'm just saying that if what we have been told about happiness is true, there is no reason for us as the people of God to ever cease being happy.
Truly, have we heard the promises of God? Do we know what it means to be grafted into His family? There is an deep and abiding reality in the kingdom of God that nothing could ever give us a reason to stop being happy that is stronger than the reasons that we have to be happy.
the LORD takes pleasure in us. Really, really, really. He likes us, He loves us, He is pleased with us. So we make God happy, we have forever won Him simply by the "yes" in our hearts, and NOTHING in heaven or earth can separate us from His love.
What can man do to me?
AMEN.
and I have some thoughts about the nature of happiness. I have always heard that there is a difference between joy and happiness. That happiness is dependent on your circumstances and therefore fleeting and capricious. Well, being in the prayer room so far, the one over-riding emotion or expression in my heart has been happiness, pure, absurdly excited happiness. Now I'm not claiming to have a deep biblical understanding of either words, joy or happiness (although i need one) but i'm just saying that if what we have been told about happiness is true, there is no reason for us as the people of God to ever cease being happy.
Truly, have we heard the promises of God? Do we know what it means to be grafted into His family? There is an deep and abiding reality in the kingdom of God that nothing could ever give us a reason to stop being happy that is stronger than the reasons that we have to be happy.
the LORD takes pleasure in us. Really, really, really. He likes us, He loves us, He is pleased with us. So we make God happy, we have forever won Him simply by the "yes" in our hearts, and NOTHING in heaven or earth can separate us from His love.
What can man do to me?
Monday, May 10, 2010
facts. truth. reality.
there is one who is a lover of my soul.
only one who wont ever let me go.
he bled for me.
wept for me.
gave his life.
he bought my destiny.
there is one who chose to want me as i am.
one who's not limited by the blindness of man.
he sees me.
knows me.
speaks over my heart.
he calls me into reality.
only one who wont ever let me go.
he bled for me.
wept for me.
gave his life.
he bought my destiny.
there is one who chose to want me as i am.
one who's not limited by the blindness of man.
he sees me.
knows me.
speaks over my heart.
he calls me into reality.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
love song for the church
I'm coming face to face with the very Bride of Christ
and though I'm one of them, I am saddened at the sight
When I think of all the pain, my anger starts to rise
They don't know how they've hurt me but the story's in my eyes
They stabbed me in the heart so now I'm fighting back
and Christ is in the middle, and He's bearing our attack
He's so patient and He's gentle while every blow falls on His back
He never leaves His children; He keeps bearing our attack
He says come lay down your swords.
Children, this is not your war
I hear Him but I'm frightened by this offer of peace
If I give up my weapon they could come devour me
In my fear I'm crying out "Jesus can't you see?
I can't give up the battle cause My hurt goes down to deep."
Now I'm waiting for the anger to start rising on His face
But the longer that I see Him, His smile is still unchanged
I've heard so many stories of His mercy and His grace
But how could I imagine that His love always remains
yet his love will never change.
He gave me His attention while I listed all my fears
now I'm the one who's listening while His voice is in my ear
He says, Daughter, cease your worry. Come dry up all your tears.
I will never leave you. I am always here.
I will never leave you. I am always here.
and though I'm one of them, I am saddened at the sight
When I think of all the pain, my anger starts to rise
They don't know how they've hurt me but the story's in my eyes
They stabbed me in the heart so now I'm fighting back
and Christ is in the middle, and He's bearing our attack
He's so patient and He's gentle while every blow falls on His back
He never leaves His children; He keeps bearing our attack
He says come lay down your swords.
Children, this is not your war
I hear Him but I'm frightened by this offer of peace
If I give up my weapon they could come devour me
In my fear I'm crying out "Jesus can't you see?
I can't give up the battle cause My hurt goes down to deep."
Now I'm waiting for the anger to start rising on His face
But the longer that I see Him, His smile is still unchanged
I've heard so many stories of His mercy and His grace
But how could I imagine that His love always remains
yet his love will never change.
He gave me His attention while I listed all my fears
now I'm the one who's listening while His voice is in my ear
He says, Daughter, cease your worry. Come dry up all your tears.
I will never leave you. I am always here.
I will never leave you. I am always here.
Monday, April 19, 2010
until the day breaks.
if i don't have time to listen
will You still feed me with Your wisdom
i'm dying for your truth
and i'm starving without you
every day in an assault
they're all screaming out my name
i try to get away
but all my obligations stay
if i call You, will You come
what if all i have is love
because this world demands so much
and leaves me aching for your touch
when i don't have time to listen
will you still feed me with your wisdom
i'm dying for your truth
and i'm starving without You
will You still feed me with Your wisdom
i'm dying for your truth
and i'm starving without you
every day in an assault
they're all screaming out my name
i try to get away
but all my obligations stay
if i call You, will You come
what if all i have is love
because this world demands so much
and leaves me aching for your touch
when i don't have time to listen
will you still feed me with your wisdom
i'm dying for your truth
and i'm starving without You
Sunday, April 18, 2010
expressionism.
You fill me with your love
so I can give myself away
I'm walking down the aisle towards You
and You won't move
You set your face like flint
your eyes, a burning gaze
i'm standing as You ravish me
i'm dressed in your purity
i want to come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
and i need a greater vision of your throne
i want to come in low
You were naked when i killed you
now i wear your robes of white
i covered You in blood
yet You surround me with your love
i want to come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
and i need a greater vision of your throne
i want to come in low
i know who i am
i don't take it lightly
i know what You paid for me
You bought my authority
so let me come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
i want to come in low
so I can give myself away
I'm walking down the aisle towards You
and You won't move
You set your face like flint
your eyes, a burning gaze
i'm standing as You ravish me
i'm dressed in your purity
i want to come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
and i need a greater vision of your throne
i want to come in low
You were naked when i killed you
now i wear your robes of white
i covered You in blood
yet You surround me with your love
i want to come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
and i need a greater vision of your throne
i want to come in low
i know who i am
i don't take it lightly
i know what You paid for me
You bought my authority
so let me come in low
i want to come in low
You are the only One i know
i want to come in low
"Therefore, my brothers, be eager to prophesy"
Tonight I went downtown with my friend austin. Our sole purpose for being there was to deliver prophetic words to people because thats the Lord's desire.
example a:
"But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort."
we're claiming that the Lord speaks to us and we know His voice
example b:
"When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."
Prophecy is such an oddly avoided word in the church and it seems to sketch so many people out. The truth is, however, prophecy should be desired and pursued. That's my biblical understanding at least. If Paul's saying he wants all his crew to prophesy I don't see any reason we shouldn't all go after it.
Is it a gift for some people more than others? yes.
Are some people called to be prophets and some not? yes.
Do we all have the ability to hear the Lord's voice and speak it into the lives of others (aka prophecy)? yes.
Back to the beginning, I went downtown tonight with my friend austin and we sat on a bench and waited for the Lord to give us specific words for people so that we could go tell them.
And He did.
i don't have any whack stories. There weren't any people freaking out. It was simple, sweet, and full of peace. The model is --get a word for someone, walk up to them and just tell them, hey. i feel like this is true about you. Or ask, hey do you know anything about this, or is this going on in your life. or whatever.
it's just all about speaking the heart of the Lord over people and testifying to them that He is aware of everything going on in their lives and that He cares.
I do have one favorite moment:
so austin goes and delivers a word to this random girl, just something that the Lord told him. While he's sharing with her she's all like "that totally makes sense. well-said." he walks away and she turns to her friends and says "I think Jesus just spoke to me through that guy over there."
and there you have it.
for that moment, I will take all the crazy labels anyone wants to give me. The love of God poured out today is worth any loss of dignity, embarrasment, or rejection. It's just so true that I have nothing to lose. The affections of God are permanent in my life and i want for nothing else. I have said it before but i just want to believe it and grow stronger in belief exponentially every moment of the day. Boldness is so much better than fear, confidence is so much better than unrest, and identity will always trump insecurity.
identity:
i am a son of the living, loving most high God.
i have every good and perfect gift given to me from the Father of lights.
He gave me prophecy because it is the testimony of His Son.
I am His. prophecy (just one of His gifts) is mine.
bam-shaw.
example a:
"But everyone who prophesies speaks to men for their strengthening, encouragement and comfort."
we're claiming that the Lord speaks to us and we know His voice
example b:
"When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice."
Prophecy is such an oddly avoided word in the church and it seems to sketch so many people out. The truth is, however, prophecy should be desired and pursued. That's my biblical understanding at least. If Paul's saying he wants all his crew to prophesy I don't see any reason we shouldn't all go after it.
Is it a gift for some people more than others? yes.
Are some people called to be prophets and some not? yes.
Do we all have the ability to hear the Lord's voice and speak it into the lives of others (aka prophecy)? yes.
Back to the beginning, I went downtown tonight with my friend austin and we sat on a bench and waited for the Lord to give us specific words for people so that we could go tell them.
And He did.
i don't have any whack stories. There weren't any people freaking out. It was simple, sweet, and full of peace. The model is --get a word for someone, walk up to them and just tell them, hey. i feel like this is true about you. Or ask, hey do you know anything about this, or is this going on in your life. or whatever.
it's just all about speaking the heart of the Lord over people and testifying to them that He is aware of everything going on in their lives and that He cares.
I do have one favorite moment:
so austin goes and delivers a word to this random girl, just something that the Lord told him. While he's sharing with her she's all like "that totally makes sense. well-said." he walks away and she turns to her friends and says "I think Jesus just spoke to me through that guy over there."
and there you have it.
for that moment, I will take all the crazy labels anyone wants to give me. The love of God poured out today is worth any loss of dignity, embarrasment, or rejection. It's just so true that I have nothing to lose. The affections of God are permanent in my life and i want for nothing else. I have said it before but i just want to believe it and grow stronger in belief exponentially every moment of the day. Boldness is so much better than fear, confidence is so much better than unrest, and identity will always trump insecurity.
identity:
i am a son of the living, loving most high God.
i have every good and perfect gift given to me from the Father of lights.
He gave me prophecy because it is the testimony of His Son.
I am His. prophecy (just one of His gifts) is mine.
bam-shaw.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
my song
I have power in me
deeper than the eye can see
all authority
I hide in the shadow of His wing
you can't touch me
He sent me out with the honor of His name
so everything around me is forced to change
the dead, the sick, the demon possesed
they gain their freedom at the love in my hands
It's a spiritual battle this war that's waged
and I have authority to trample on the snakes
they try to accuse me with vicious lies
but I cut them off and I fix my eyes
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
He is returning and He's looking for His wife
I will rise up and be standing by His side
He's coming for His warrior bride
deeper than the eye can see
all authority
I hide in the shadow of His wing
you can't touch me
He sent me out with the honor of His name
so everything around me is forced to change
the dead, the sick, the demon possesed
they gain their freedom at the love in my hands
It's a spiritual battle this war that's waged
and I have authority to trample on the snakes
they try to accuse me with vicious lies
but I cut them off and I fix my eyes
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
He is returning and He's looking for His wife
I will rise up and be standing by His side
He's coming for His warrior bride
Sunday, March 21, 2010
the union of love
Last week, I went to Ecuador.
It was a mission trip.
aka: i was there for ministry, to minister.
So I left my college town, traveled down to another world, and walked into an Ecuadorian church on sunday morning surrounded by spanish-speaking lovers of God.Two songs into worship and I felt the peace of God fall on my heart. In His perfect love and wisdom, He released me from the very thing my heart was aching from the weight of carrying.
I don't care how many times I have to relearn His ways, if He keeps needing to correct me, I'll keep coming back.
And this is my constant education:
There really is no striving in the Kingdom of God.
You can't impress Him. You can't win His love or buy His favor.
For me,
I have to let His love wash over my heart even more often than everyday. Moment by moment, He is willing to affirm my identity as a beloved daughter, and I just need to receive.
I am my beloved's,
and His desire is for me.
Come, my beloved,
let us go out into the country,
Let us spend the night
in the villages.
Let us rise early and go to
the vineyards;
Let us see whether the
vine has budded
and it's blossoms have opened,
and whether the pomengranates have bloomed.
There I will give you my love.
The madrakes have given forth fragrance;
and over our doors are all choice fruits,
Both new and old,
which I have saved up for you, my beloved.
It was a mission trip.
aka: i was there for ministry, to minister.
So I left my college town, traveled down to another world, and walked into an Ecuadorian church on sunday morning surrounded by spanish-speaking lovers of God.Two songs into worship and I felt the peace of God fall on my heart. In His perfect love and wisdom, He released me from the very thing my heart was aching from the weight of carrying.
I don't care how many times I have to relearn His ways, if He keeps needing to correct me, I'll keep coming back.
And this is my constant education:
There really is no striving in the Kingdom of God.
You can't impress Him. You can't win His love or buy His favor.
For me,
I have to let His love wash over my heart even more often than everyday. Moment by moment, He is willing to affirm my identity as a beloved daughter, and I just need to receive.
I am my beloved's,
and His desire is for me.
Come, my beloved,
let us go out into the country,
Let us spend the night
in the villages.
Let us rise early and go to
the vineyards;
Let us see whether the
vine has budded
and it's blossoms have opened,
and whether the pomengranates have bloomed.
There I will give you my love.
The madrakes have given forth fragrance;
and over our doors are all choice fruits,
Both new and old,
which I have saved up for you, my beloved.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)