beloved

You are so close to my heart, and yet, I have no words for You. I don't even know You. You are wild and mysterious to me. Closer than my skin, and yet, I have never seen You, never touched You.
I don't know the tone of your voice. I haven't seen the hues in your eyes. Tell me, how big are your hands? How gentle are your hugs?
Deep calls out to deep, so the deepest parts of me are abandoned to You, but what is deep in You? You have no end. What could be your depths? Your love is like the ocean. Is it the pacific or atlantic? You must be greater than both, but which could describe You?

I'm tired of cliche sermons and songs that leave me with the same stale incomplete picture of who You are.

I want to know You.

Which flowers are You most like? A lily? A daisy? And how could You be all of them at once? The bright orange of a wildflower, soft velvet of a rose, sweet nectar in them all- how beautiful that would make You, greater than I could know. The sun blinds me, leaving me stumbling, trying to catch my breath, yet it could not be brighter than you.

I have fallen in love with a mystery.
The answers are unknown.

Could a mountain be higher than You?
Yet You were lowered into a human grave.

Who are You? What are You?

God?
Jehovah?
Messiah?

I use them. I use them because I am told they are your names, but I don't know them. Your word shows truth, but more than anything, it leaves me with a weight upon my heart that says that there is more to You.

Lily of the Valley?
Bright and Morning Star?
You dressed the lilies. You named the stars.

King of kings and Lord of lords?
Yet You are more than a king and I am more than the servant of a lord.

The Alpha and Omega?
You have no beginning. You have no end.

A million names, each true, yet, all incomplete.
What then shall i call you? Who are You to me?

Father?
Husband?
Master?
Friend?

Beloved?
Yes. I must call you beloved, for that is all I know. I don't know you, but You must know me. I am feeble, weak, and frail. I would gaze upon You, but my eyes would fail. I would wait for the sound of your song over me, but my ears would deafen at delights they have not imagined. And how could i stand before You? How could I touch your glory?

I am feeble, weak, and frail. I do not know You, and yet, I know of your love. I heard the stories of Love come down. I know your Love was sacrificed for us, for me. I met Love. I do not know You but I know your love. What else could I call You except Beloved?
You are mine and I am yours.

You have said there will come a day when I will see You face to face, a day when I will know in full even as I am fully known.

Beloved, I believe You. Let it be.