You are so close to my heart, and yet, I have no words for You. I don't even know You. You are wild and mysterious to me. Closer than my skin, and yet, I have never seen You, never touched You.
I don't know the tone of your voice. I haven't seen the hues in your eyes. Tell me, how big are your hands? How gentle are your hugs?
Deep calls out to deep, so the deepest parts of me are abandoned to You, but what is deep in You? You have no end. What could be your depths? Your love is like the ocean. Is it the pacific or atlantic? You must be greater than both, but which could describe You?
I'm tired of cliche sermons and songs that leave me with the same stale incomplete picture of who You are.
I want to know You.
Which flowers are You most like? A lily? A daisy? And how could You be all of them at once? The bright orange of a wildflower, soft velvet of a rose, sweet nectar in them all- how beautiful that would make You, greater than I could know. The sun blinds me, leaving me stumbling, trying to catch my breath, yet it could not be brighter than you.
I have fallen in love with a mystery.
The answers are unknown.
Could a mountain be higher than You?
Yet You were lowered into a human grave.
Who are You? What are You?
God?
Jehovah?
Messiah?
I use them. I use them because I am told they are your names, but I don't know them. Your word shows truth, but more than anything, it leaves me with a weight upon my heart that says that there is more to You.
Lily of the Valley?
Bright and Morning Star?
You dressed the lilies. You named the stars.
King of kings and Lord of lords?
Yet You are more than a king and I am more than the servant of a lord.
The Alpha and Omega?
You have no beginning. You have no end.
A million names, each true, yet, all incomplete.
What then shall i call you? Who are You to me?
Father?
Husband?
Master?
Friend?
Beloved?
Yes. I must call you beloved, for that is all I know. I don't know you, but You must know me. I am feeble, weak, and frail. I would gaze upon You, but my eyes would fail. I would wait for the sound of your song over me, but my ears would deafen at delights they have not imagined. And how could i stand before You? How could I touch your glory?
I am feeble, weak, and frail. I do not know You, and yet, I know of your love. I heard the stories of Love come down. I know your Love was sacrificed for us, for me. I met Love. I do not know You but I know your love. What else could I call You except Beloved?
You are mine and I am yours.
You have said there will come a day when I will see You face to face, a day when I will know in full even as I am fully known.
Beloved, I believe You. Let it be.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
rain down
So really this is just funny.
I had just come home today from a quick trip to the post office, and before I got out of my car and went inside I decided to sit for a minute and seek the Lord about something. It had been raining on and off all day, but had recently slowed down to the point of almost no rain. So I'm sitting in my car, in my driveway, asking the Lord what I should do about this specific thing, and I hear from the Lord, "Go." And thought to myself, "Is that an answer to my question?" and as soon as I thought that I just instantly knew, "No, He's saying go inside right now." And then I was so fascinated that I had just heard that from the Lord and responded that way, I just sat in my car thinking about it. About 10-15 seconds later, it started pouring, I mean the type of rain that happens when the whole sky falls out. I couldn't have walked from car to my house without getting soaked. It was so funny!!!! What an amazing Father who would interrupt my prayers, to tell me to go inside before I get soaked in the rain. I love it. But at that point I was still sitting in my car, so then I just waited for it to stop raining before I went inside, which was like 10 minutes later.
Good times :)
I had just come home today from a quick trip to the post office, and before I got out of my car and went inside I decided to sit for a minute and seek the Lord about something. It had been raining on and off all day, but had recently slowed down to the point of almost no rain. So I'm sitting in my car, in my driveway, asking the Lord what I should do about this specific thing, and I hear from the Lord, "Go." And thought to myself, "Is that an answer to my question?" and as soon as I thought that I just instantly knew, "No, He's saying go inside right now." And then I was so fascinated that I had just heard that from the Lord and responded that way, I just sat in my car thinking about it. About 10-15 seconds later, it started pouring, I mean the type of rain that happens when the whole sky falls out. I couldn't have walked from car to my house without getting soaked. It was so funny!!!! What an amazing Father who would interrupt my prayers, to tell me to go inside before I get soaked in the rain. I love it. But at that point I was still sitting in my car, so then I just waited for it to stop raining before I went inside, which was like 10 minutes later.
Good times :)
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Taken: He will come for you
I watched the movie "Taken" today for the first time. I wasn't originally paying attention, but as I was watching I realized that in a narrative way, it illustrated alot of spiritual truths. Hence, I decided to write down what the Lord had taught me from the movie....
Basic story: Liam Neeson loses his daughter. She is kidnapped, partially by result of the poor decisions of herself and the girl that she is with and partially because of the cruelty and greed of the world around her. She is kinapped and abused in a vicious world of sex, rape, drugs, and slavery. Her dad learns the truth of what has happened to her, is not angry at her in any way, and driven by love, he goes into some of the world's darkest places to get her back.
Here's what impacted my heart: the dad has to hear, see, and experience, some of the most horrible things that happen in the world. He goes to the places where women are being sold like cattle, he sees the beds where innocence is lost, and he holds the body of a girl wrecked by drugs. He goes to these dark places unflinchinly and willingly not because he is okay with these horrible things, but because it is where his daughter is.
So it is with the Lord.
For example, Christ making the offer of eternal life to the woman at the well.
"Go, get your husband and come here."
He knew. He knew that this was her shame, her percieved identity, her life. He knew, and He was unafraid.
"I have no husband."
I'm not going there with you. Let's not talk about that. If you knew.... That's too dirty, too shameful. I'm not going there with you.
"You have correctly said, 'I have no husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly."
You are right, and I see you where you are and I'm not scared. It's not okay. It's not right, but I'll go there with you. This is where you are. I know the depth of it all, and it is not too deep. I'll go there with you.
I don't know if I'm really communicating this well at all. All I know is that the Lord sparked something in my heart that I didn't understand before and this is it. It makes the biggest difference in the world, and it would change so much if we really understood it. On a individual level, on a family level, on a coporate level; everything could change. He is not afraid. He really is greater than He that is in the world, and He will come to us, wherever we are.
Basic story: Liam Neeson loses his daughter. She is kidnapped, partially by result of the poor decisions of herself and the girl that she is with and partially because of the cruelty and greed of the world around her. She is kinapped and abused in a vicious world of sex, rape, drugs, and slavery. Her dad learns the truth of what has happened to her, is not angry at her in any way, and driven by love, he goes into some of the world's darkest places to get her back.
Here's what impacted my heart: the dad has to hear, see, and experience, some of the most horrible things that happen in the world. He goes to the places where women are being sold like cattle, he sees the beds where innocence is lost, and he holds the body of a girl wrecked by drugs. He goes to these dark places unflinchinly and willingly not because he is okay with these horrible things, but because it is where his daughter is.
So it is with the Lord.
For example, Christ making the offer of eternal life to the woman at the well.
"Go, get your husband and come here."
He knew. He knew that this was her shame, her percieved identity, her life. He knew, and He was unafraid.
"I have no husband."
I'm not going there with you. Let's not talk about that. If you knew.... That's too dirty, too shameful. I'm not going there with you.
"You have correctly said, 'I have no husband'; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly."
You are right, and I see you where you are and I'm not scared. It's not okay. It's not right, but I'll go there with you. This is where you are. I know the depth of it all, and it is not too deep. I'll go there with you.
I don't know if I'm really communicating this well at all. All I know is that the Lord sparked something in my heart that I didn't understand before and this is it. It makes the biggest difference in the world, and it would change so much if we really understood it. On a individual level, on a family level, on a coporate level; everything could change. He is not afraid. He really is greater than He that is in the world, and He will come to us, wherever we are.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)