Been on project for almost two weeks now, and i have experienced so much, learned so much, and seen so much... I can't describe it all. I sincerely can't even process it right now. I will write about it sometime i am sure, but right now there is only one thing i know, one thing i'm learning:
Everyone needs Jesus. Everyone needs Jesus. The sex-offenders, the homeless, the parole officers, the working poor, the college students, the pastors, the recovering addicts, those in power, the prisoners, the abused, the children, the cheerleaders, You and Me. All of us need Christ. We need Him above anything and anyone else. We need Him now. We need Him oh so badly. I have seen the faces of those with no hope. I have heard the stories of lives without purpose. These people yearn for a salvation that they search for in the saddest ways. They continually try more of this world and more of themselves and the keep coming up dry. Aching for pure, clean, living water, they yearn for a break from the dirtiness of a world that has long lost its innocence.I have heard their voices. I have learned their names, and yet more than i understand, they are oh so familiar to their Father. He created them, loves them, longs for them, and patiently pursues them with His grace. He created His son in the image of love that those with no hope would learn of this anchor of His unchanging peace. These faces of the lost remind me of what it is to live apart from the salvation of Christ. It's a scary picture. I don't want to remember life without rescue.
How blessed i am though, that i can live and walk in a redemption that i did not earn and do not deserve. Recently, i have seen this same salvation in the lives of my project mates. I have heard some of their stories, and i know that they were lost. They will freely admit that without Christ, they were NOTHING. Lost, dying, and without purpose, without hope. The same empty faces that we see here on the streets, in the prisons, or in offices, could very well be from our own pasts. The stories are all different, no two people are the same, but the common thread is the truth that we have all known life apart from this transforming love. However, the beauty of grace is that now, we, who are as undeserving of forgiveness as anyone we could meet, have been sent out with the Gospel placed on our lips by our Daddy. He taught us this captivating tale of a Savior coming to earth to love those who hated Him, and then He brought us in and made this story our own. Now we go out to speak it to others. No one is above hearing it, certainly not us, whether for the first or the five hundreth time. And no one is too low or too lost. Forgiveness is for all, and needed by all... Jesus is vital. There is no life apart from Him.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
searching for wealth
and we went on a scavenger hunt to try and understand the homeless a little bit more, and we went dumpster diving to try and retrieve anything of value. I seriously do not understand how anyone could ever survive off of food found in a dumpster. I promise i didn't eat anything out of the dumpster, but i smelled it up close and personal and that was enough....
show me how deep the rabbit hole goes....
Poverty in America... Homeless... the working poor...
Is it their fault? Are they all drug addicts? Are they lazy? Irresponsible? Dumb?
I've been on Seattle project for four days and if there's one thing I've learned about poverty and homelessness, it's that it is so much more complicated than i know. So many facets and so many factors. I have been so ignorant to lump the poor into one faceless group and assume that i know anything or have any understanding of what it is to live in poverty. We are going through a study on project called Compassion by Command, it's kind of life-changing and i think that everyone should have to do it...Anyways, one of the things that we did in the study early on was defined poverty, I have always assumed that being poor was a lack of possessions, no money, no car, no food.. But in reality, poverty is so much more of a lack of options, which can be brought on by a lack of possessions, but goes much deeper than that. If I were in Columbia right now, or even at Clemson, and i had no money, no car, no food, I could find a way to get whatever i needed. I'm definitely not saying that i'm smarter at all, what i'm trying to get at, is that I, and alot of us have resources. We have connections, educations, and an understanding of what we would need and how to get it. So many people living in poverty in the US, don't have the simple things that we take for granted. Many in poverty have no family to turn to and the people that they have an opportunity to meet and connect with are others in the same situations; so we have these social classes where the rich network with the rich, and the poor network with the poor, Okay just slightly problematic. By creating divisions, we trap people within the barriers we erect, and even when they search for a better life, they have no where to start, no where to go.
More problems with the system we esteem, it ultimately attempts to provide a way for people to survive in poverty, and it makes little or no effort to provide them a way to move up in income or social class. In fact, often times, when people are somewhat successful in bettering their situation by getting a better job or working more hours, they are often "punished" by the programs that claim to help. We are watching a video about a single mom trying to raise her daughter with a low-income. And some of the most frustrating things are the way that she gets trapped within a system that makes no sense. After her apartment building is closed down, she is forced onto the streets and seeks refuge at a local shelter. Well, she is told that the only people who are eligible for the shelter are those who don't have jobs because they are the most in need, but the shelter also doesn't provide food, so you have to buy your own meals. What? You can't make money, but you have to pay for your own food? How does that make any sense? Another spiral occurs when she is trying to find a new apartment. First of all, she loses her job because she has to spend a half a day trying to find a place to live. And then she starts looking for a new job, but every job requires an address: so she can't get a job without an apartment, but she can't get an apartment until she gets a job. That is why people live in shelters instead of finding somewhere to live. The system is straight up screwed up and many are completely trapped in this cycle of poverty.
I could go on forever, but it's late and i have to be at jail at eight... haha. that's right i'm going to prison. Anyways, bottom line: poverty is more complicated than we know. The system is flawed. The church is flawed, called to be Christ's hands and feet; we are often not going, and the world knows when we are acting out of self-preservation rather than the sacrificial LOVE that Christ demonstrated and called us to walk in. More to come on that point later.
Is it their fault? Are they all drug addicts? Are they lazy? Irresponsible? Dumb?
I've been on Seattle project for four days and if there's one thing I've learned about poverty and homelessness, it's that it is so much more complicated than i know. So many facets and so many factors. I have been so ignorant to lump the poor into one faceless group and assume that i know anything or have any understanding of what it is to live in poverty. We are going through a study on project called Compassion by Command, it's kind of life-changing and i think that everyone should have to do it...Anyways, one of the things that we did in the study early on was defined poverty, I have always assumed that being poor was a lack of possessions, no money, no car, no food.. But in reality, poverty is so much more of a lack of options, which can be brought on by a lack of possessions, but goes much deeper than that. If I were in Columbia right now, or even at Clemson, and i had no money, no car, no food, I could find a way to get whatever i needed. I'm definitely not saying that i'm smarter at all, what i'm trying to get at, is that I, and alot of us have resources. We have connections, educations, and an understanding of what we would need and how to get it. So many people living in poverty in the US, don't have the simple things that we take for granted. Many in poverty have no family to turn to and the people that they have an opportunity to meet and connect with are others in the same situations; so we have these social classes where the rich network with the rich, and the poor network with the poor, Okay just slightly problematic. By creating divisions, we trap people within the barriers we erect, and even when they search for a better life, they have no where to start, no where to go.
More problems with the system we esteem, it ultimately attempts to provide a way for people to survive in poverty, and it makes little or no effort to provide them a way to move up in income or social class. In fact, often times, when people are somewhat successful in bettering their situation by getting a better job or working more hours, they are often "punished" by the programs that claim to help. We are watching a video about a single mom trying to raise her daughter with a low-income. And some of the most frustrating things are the way that she gets trapped within a system that makes no sense. After her apartment building is closed down, she is forced onto the streets and seeks refuge at a local shelter. Well, she is told that the only people who are eligible for the shelter are those who don't have jobs because they are the most in need, but the shelter also doesn't provide food, so you have to buy your own meals. What? You can't make money, but you have to pay for your own food? How does that make any sense? Another spiral occurs when she is trying to find a new apartment. First of all, she loses her job because she has to spend a half a day trying to find a place to live. And then she starts looking for a new job, but every job requires an address: so she can't get a job without an apartment, but she can't get an apartment until she gets a job. That is why people live in shelters instead of finding somewhere to live. The system is straight up screwed up and many are completely trapped in this cycle of poverty.
I could go on forever, but it's late and i have to be at jail at eight... haha. that's right i'm going to prison. Anyways, bottom line: poverty is more complicated than we know. The system is flawed. The church is flawed, called to be Christ's hands and feet; we are often not going, and the world knows when we are acting out of self-preservation rather than the sacrificial LOVE that Christ demonstrated and called us to walk in. More to come on that point later.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
great and mighty things, of which thou knowest not
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me,
Over life's tempestuous seas.
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal,
Chart and Compass come from Thee,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
As a mother stills her child,
You can calm the oceans wild,
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
when You say to them, "Be Still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar,
Grant me long and peaceful rest,
Then while leaning on your chest,
May I hear You say to Me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."
Oh Christ, I know that Your thoughts and your plans are so very high above my own. Lord, I confess that I like my feeble human plans. They feel right to me and they are my desire and often my hope. But oh Lord, how foolish I am if I trust in my own plans over You. Lord, You are holy and right. Father, You alone are the designer and creator. I know that I am merely the workmanship, created to praise and to learn of this love, but never intended to be in control. Father God, teach me again to seek You, to love Your face more than any of these earthly ideas. Lord, make my quest to be simple to know You rather than to serve You in the ways that I design. Father God, I do desire to love You more, so make me Your servant that You would send me out wherever You desire. Lord, if I truly only want more of You, it should not matter whether your plan is for Seattle or Columbia, Africa or the East Coast. Make my love for You my only hope and passion, no matter where I am or what is happening. Only more of Christ. Open my eyes, Lord, I can't see enough.
Over life's tempestuous seas.
Unknown waves before me roll,
Hiding rock and treacherous shoal,
Chart and Compass come from Thee,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
As a mother stills her child,
You can calm the oceans wild,
Boisterous waves obey Thy will,
when You say to them, "Be Still!"
Wondrous Sovereign of the sea,
Jesus, Savior, Pilot me.
When at last I near the shore,
And the fearful breakers roar,
Grant me long and peaceful rest,
Then while leaning on your chest,
May I hear You say to Me,
"Fear not, I will pilot thee."
Oh Christ, I know that Your thoughts and your plans are so very high above my own. Lord, I confess that I like my feeble human plans. They feel right to me and they are my desire and often my hope. But oh Lord, how foolish I am if I trust in my own plans over You. Lord, You are holy and right. Father, You alone are the designer and creator. I know that I am merely the workmanship, created to praise and to learn of this love, but never intended to be in control. Father God, teach me again to seek You, to love Your face more than any of these earthly ideas. Lord, make my quest to be simple to know You rather than to serve You in the ways that I design. Father God, I do desire to love You more, so make me Your servant that You would send me out wherever You desire. Lord, if I truly only want more of You, it should not matter whether your plan is for Seattle or Columbia, Africa or the East Coast. Make my love for You my only hope and passion, no matter where I am or what is happening. Only more of Christ. Open my eyes, Lord, I can't see enough.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
journey to my brain.....
I write this blog... have no idea if anyone at all reads it( doubt it) but i write it anyways. It clears my mind, helps me explain myself, and gives me a place to empty my thoughts when no one wants to hear me talk. So i write.
These are my thoughts:
I went running tonight. I love running. Put my music on and empty my mind of everything but the song, the road, and the movement. Muscles straining, out of breath, sweating, tired, out of shape, but somehow, i love it. When i go running, i get make my body do what i want it to do. No one watching. No judgments and no justification. My body lets go. I'm pretty sure that when I'm running is the one time when my mind is completely free from worrying about what my body looks like. A t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and the road, and i am free. Straining my muscles, but my body is relaxed. It's completely at home in the fact that when i'm running i am unaware of my own opinion of my body.
I am leaving in about eight days for Seattle. Lots of little things to tie up before then. Nursing stuff: malpractice insurance, immunization records, 2nd tb test, CPR certification, scrubs, english class, and a background check. I keep freaking out that these things are done yet, but then somehow my freaking out doesn't lead me to actually accomplishing them. I just push them to the side and then worry some more that they're not finished yet. Smart? No. And Seattle stuff, thank you notes, support, packing, cleaning. I can't even think about it. I just want out. Let it all go, all the little things that i have stored up as worries in my mind and head out on this great adventure. Let's go Jesus, you and me. Help me to accomplish all the little things, so that i can focus on the only importance in this world. Only You.
TWLOHA is such a passion of mine. I love this organization and it is so important. Love( God's love) is the only thing that can combat the darkness in this world, and there is so much darkness. Sometimes, Christians have tendency to downplay the pain We say that we should focus on the good things. We should be thankful for what we have. Count our blessings. Yeah, if we are blessed in Christ than we should be thankful because we are freaking redeemed. That is our blessing. How dare we, who have it all, lecture those who are suffering without Christ, telling them that it's their fault, or that they should look for the silver lining. There is no freaking silver lining without Christ! There is nothing! You can't tell people to cheer up and look for hope if they don't know Christ. There is no hope apart from Him. If we forgotten that, than we don't know what blessings are. So when we see those who are struggling through this world, in pain, in darkness, instead of judging all their sinful, horrible actions, why don't we show them the one thing that they need? Show Love. Write Love. With our actions, with our speech, with the simple way that we live and interact in this world that is not our home. Do we show people why our lives our different? Do we show them why we can see the silver lining? Do we see it? Because yes, this world is freaking full of pain and we are going to feel some of that if we live here, but we can count our blessings because we are saved. Do others see that in us and desire that salvation? Do we show them that there is hope and rescue from the very real pain in this world. We have to. That is our response to the love that we now know. That is our thankfulness. Love apart from moral finger-pointing and judgment, loving others like we have been loved. Writing love on the bleeding, scarred arms of the world.
I don't know why i'm obsessed with writing intense things. I think about intense things alot, and i guess that simple things are the stuff that most people want to hear about. Or at least, simple things are the ones that are easier to talk about. Yeah, i might be thinking about Somalia, or teenagers struggling with depression, or body issues, or fair trade, or pediatric nursing, or prisons, but you really don't want a twenty minute conversation about something that you feel like doesn't apply to you, so I'm not about to pour my heart out and lay my honest emotions and thoughts on the line so you can look at me like i'm crazy. If you don't want to hear about child trafficking on cocoa plantations in Ghana, then i'm not gonna tell you about it, but when you ask me what's going on in my head, don't expect to get a deep answer. All the thoughts that are genuine and sincere are too intense or "boring" or whatever and no one really wants to hear it, so i write about it. I have to get it out somehow.
Zimbabwe is like in complete chaos right now. There's a scheduled run-off election June 27th between Mugabe and Tsvaingari(sp?), of the Zanu-PF and MDC parties respectively. There have been so many examples of intimidation tactics, mostly coming from the Zanu-PF party. There have been widespread reports of Zanu-PF torture camps set up to convince people to vote for Mugabe. Sixty-five people at minimum have been reported as killed in the post election violence. Now, all the aid organizations have been kicked out of Zimbabwe. In a country where literally millions of people depend on food aid for basic survival, they are now not receiving any. Zimbabwe is falling apart and most Americans not only don't know, they really wouldn't care if they were informed, simply because they feel like a far-off African country doesn't apply to them. I guess i can understand that...kind of...but that doesn't describe me. Somehow, whatever happens in Zimbabwe does apply to me. I care a heck of a whole lot, and if someone gave me the chance to be in Zimbabwe right now, i would take it in a heartbeat.
Currently 1:10 am.... I have been writing for hours. Bed time. Good night.
These are my thoughts:
I went running tonight. I love running. Put my music on and empty my mind of everything but the song, the road, and the movement. Muscles straining, out of breath, sweating, tired, out of shape, but somehow, i love it. When i go running, i get make my body do what i want it to do. No one watching. No judgments and no justification. My body lets go. I'm pretty sure that when I'm running is the one time when my mind is completely free from worrying about what my body looks like. A t-shirt, shorts, sneakers, and the road, and i am free. Straining my muscles, but my body is relaxed. It's completely at home in the fact that when i'm running i am unaware of my own opinion of my body.
I am leaving in about eight days for Seattle. Lots of little things to tie up before then. Nursing stuff: malpractice insurance, immunization records, 2nd tb test, CPR certification, scrubs, english class, and a background check. I keep freaking out that these things are done yet, but then somehow my freaking out doesn't lead me to actually accomplishing them. I just push them to the side and then worry some more that they're not finished yet. Smart? No. And Seattle stuff, thank you notes, support, packing, cleaning. I can't even think about it. I just want out. Let it all go, all the little things that i have stored up as worries in my mind and head out on this great adventure. Let's go Jesus, you and me. Help me to accomplish all the little things, so that i can focus on the only importance in this world. Only You.
TWLOHA is such a passion of mine. I love this organization and it is so important. Love( God's love) is the only thing that can combat the darkness in this world, and there is so much darkness. Sometimes, Christians have tendency to downplay the pain We say that we should focus on the good things. We should be thankful for what we have. Count our blessings. Yeah, if we are blessed in Christ than we should be thankful because we are freaking redeemed. That is our blessing. How dare we, who have it all, lecture those who are suffering without Christ, telling them that it's their fault, or that they should look for the silver lining. There is no freaking silver lining without Christ! There is nothing! You can't tell people to cheer up and look for hope if they don't know Christ. There is no hope apart from Him. If we forgotten that, than we don't know what blessings are. So when we see those who are struggling through this world, in pain, in darkness, instead of judging all their sinful, horrible actions, why don't we show them the one thing that they need? Show Love. Write Love. With our actions, with our speech, with the simple way that we live and interact in this world that is not our home. Do we show people why our lives our different? Do we show them why we can see the silver lining? Do we see it? Because yes, this world is freaking full of pain and we are going to feel some of that if we live here, but we can count our blessings because we are saved. Do others see that in us and desire that salvation? Do we show them that there is hope and rescue from the very real pain in this world. We have to. That is our response to the love that we now know. That is our thankfulness. Love apart from moral finger-pointing and judgment, loving others like we have been loved. Writing love on the bleeding, scarred arms of the world.
I don't know why i'm obsessed with writing intense things. I think about intense things alot, and i guess that simple things are the stuff that most people want to hear about. Or at least, simple things are the ones that are easier to talk about. Yeah, i might be thinking about Somalia, or teenagers struggling with depression, or body issues, or fair trade, or pediatric nursing, or prisons, but you really don't want a twenty minute conversation about something that you feel like doesn't apply to you, so I'm not about to pour my heart out and lay my honest emotions and thoughts on the line so you can look at me like i'm crazy. If you don't want to hear about child trafficking on cocoa plantations in Ghana, then i'm not gonna tell you about it, but when you ask me what's going on in my head, don't expect to get a deep answer. All the thoughts that are genuine and sincere are too intense or "boring" or whatever and no one really wants to hear it, so i write about it. I have to get it out somehow.
Zimbabwe is like in complete chaos right now. There's a scheduled run-off election June 27th between Mugabe and Tsvaingari(sp?), of the Zanu-PF and MDC parties respectively. There have been so many examples of intimidation tactics, mostly coming from the Zanu-PF party. There have been widespread reports of Zanu-PF torture camps set up to convince people to vote for Mugabe. Sixty-five people at minimum have been reported as killed in the post election violence. Now, all the aid organizations have been kicked out of Zimbabwe. In a country where literally millions of people depend on food aid for basic survival, they are now not receiving any. Zimbabwe is falling apart and most Americans not only don't know, they really wouldn't care if they were informed, simply because they feel like a far-off African country doesn't apply to them. I guess i can understand that...kind of...but that doesn't describe me. Somehow, whatever happens in Zimbabwe does apply to me. I care a heck of a whole lot, and if someone gave me the chance to be in Zimbabwe right now, i would take it in a heartbeat.
Currently 1:10 am.... I have been writing for hours. Bed time. Good night.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
redemption is here
LOVE:
is a movement
is enough
is all
Love is a movement. People have often asked what that phrase means and why is it important to me. The easy answer is that it is the title to a favorite song of mine. A song about redemption and boldness. But more than that, this phrase is truth. Love, begins with God. We would not even know it if we had not been shown, and God's love, so much more than ours, is not simply an emotion, but more of an action. God's love is Christ descending and being forsaken. God's love is the pain of the cross and the beauty of the empty tomb. God's love is the call to the lost sheep. God's love is the willing hands to cleanse the leper. God's love is warm smile to a harlot who has only known hatred. God's love is the tears wept over a dying friend. God's love is the voice that calls out freedom. God's love is food for the hungry. God's love is homeless Savior. God's love is forgiveness spoken from a martyr underneath the crushing stones. God's love is not easy. God's love is not safe. It is not stagnant nor self-seeking. God's love is painful, sometimes breaking us to the core. It is dangerous, scary, and difficult.It is a movement. It removes us from ourselves. "We were made to be lovers bold, in broken places. Pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." God's love is the movement that came to us and changed our hearts. God's love is the movement that takes us to the world and empties us again.
Love is enough. If it were all stripped away, if all material things were gone, if family and friends were unreachable, would Christ, would His love be enough to sustain us? Is His love enough to fill our hearts and meet our needs? Nothing else can. "To live on Christ's love is a King's life." If we had nothing else, This love will still fill us. This fufiilling, liberating, and sustaining love is more than we need. To have nothing else, and live on this love alone, we would find that Christ's love is perfectly enough.
Love is all. "Beloved, there is nothing more. No more failures and no more rewards. Than the treasure of my body and blood given freely to all daughter and sons." In face of God's revolutionary, redeeming love, there can be nothing else. No more inadequacies, no more pride. No more of what this world says is important. No other salvation, no other rescue. Nothing else to live for. Love is all we need, all that saves us, and all we should desire.
is a movement
is enough
is all
Love is a movement. People have often asked what that phrase means and why is it important to me. The easy answer is that it is the title to a favorite song of mine. A song about redemption and boldness. But more than that, this phrase is truth. Love, begins with God. We would not even know it if we had not been shown, and God's love, so much more than ours, is not simply an emotion, but more of an action. God's love is Christ descending and being forsaken. God's love is the pain of the cross and the beauty of the empty tomb. God's love is the call to the lost sheep. God's love is the willing hands to cleanse the leper. God's love is warm smile to a harlot who has only known hatred. God's love is the tears wept over a dying friend. God's love is the voice that calls out freedom. God's love is food for the hungry. God's love is homeless Savior. God's love is forgiveness spoken from a martyr underneath the crushing stones. God's love is not easy. God's love is not safe. It is not stagnant nor self-seeking. God's love is painful, sometimes breaking us to the core. It is dangerous, scary, and difficult.It is a movement. It removes us from ourselves. "We were made to be lovers bold, in broken places. Pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home." God's love is the movement that came to us and changed our hearts. God's love is the movement that takes us to the world and empties us again.
Love is enough. If it were all stripped away, if all material things were gone, if family and friends were unreachable, would Christ, would His love be enough to sustain us? Is His love enough to fill our hearts and meet our needs? Nothing else can. "To live on Christ's love is a King's life." If we had nothing else, This love will still fill us. This fufiilling, liberating, and sustaining love is more than we need. To have nothing else, and live on this love alone, we would find that Christ's love is perfectly enough.
Love is all. "Beloved, there is nothing more. No more failures and no more rewards. Than the treasure of my body and blood given freely to all daughter and sons." In face of God's revolutionary, redeeming love, there can be nothing else. No more inadequacies, no more pride. No more of what this world says is important. No other salvation, no other rescue. Nothing else to live for. Love is all we need, all that saves us, and all we should desire.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)